Rebuilding Rob

I wish that I had something really profound to talk about for today’s prompt. I could talk about the way that my political views have completely changed since the time I was 10 years old; but that would really be disingenuous since I was 10 and didn’t really have enough experience with the world to come to where I am now.

It would be nice if I could talk about some remarkable, religious, awakening or dissolution meant that I had. Unfortunately for me, religion and spirituality is something that I’ve been conflicted about for most of my life.

One thing that I have changed my mind about is just something else seems to happen in the last six months or so. Anybody who has read my blog beyond the “daily post” knows that finding a romantic relationship has always been very important to me. In fact, I know I placed too much importance on it. For a long time I let the relationship I was in, or the lack there of, define me as a person. One day, I woke up, and I realized that being in a relationship just wasn’t as important as it used to be.

It’s been about 3 1/2 years since X2 and I broke up. I’ve been in relationships since then, the longest probably less than about nine months, but I just haven’t felt that spark, that connection, with anybody. At least, not enough that I was really willing to dig deep, suffer all the slings and arrows, and try to make it work.

Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a great thing for me. It’s like Whitney Houston said long ago “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all“. It sounds corny, but it really is true. I sincerely believe that before a person can be happy in a relationship, they have to be happy being alone. They have to be comfortable enough with them selves. And I am. I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Maybe ever.

But on the flipside of that, I’m looking at the calendar. I’m looking at my watch. I’m 49 years old and I most likely have fewer days ahead of me then I have behind me. i’m not a young guy anymore. And to be honest, I’m OK with that. But I would like to find that connection with a someone again.

At the risk of sounding like I’m being too whiny, what I think has happened is that I have finally come to terms with being happily single. But with that in mind, I also know that I’m not gonna get any younger, and I would eventually like to settle down with someone.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related posts:

• Of Training Wheels and Christmas Lights
• Charity Starts at Home (And I’m Back in My Childhood One)
• The Muscle of Empathy
• Where Do We Go From Here? Five Years Since January 6.
• Bugs, Boundaries, and the Art of Not Being Invisible

The article “Learning To Love Yourself” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.