Rebuilding Rob

Those of us who are of a certain age have probably been faced with this question more often than we realize.

To my fellow Gen Xers out there, and even any baby boomers who might be reading this, did you ever notice than in most sitcoms of the 70s and 80s, virtually every TV family experienced a fire in their homes? There are even TV trove websites that explain the phenomenon like this one here For all I know, this could’ve been the writers way of getting a budget to build some brand new sets. But as a kid growing up in this time, the threat of losing your home to fire was very real. Thanks TV!

I speak here with tongue planted in my cheek. Obviously I am aware of the very real possibility of fires and other natural disasters. For seven years, I taught in a major metropolitan urban area that… Without giving it away, historically, has a bad reputation for housefires an arson. So much so in fact, that the region came to know the night before Halloween as “Devils night“ for decades. Thankfully, the community has become so vigilant about fires on October 30 that that is now a thing of the past, but the reputation is still there but I have taught several students who lost everything they own from a fire. In some cases, they even lost family members.

As I write about this today, please bear in mind that there is a big difference between cleaning out ones, garage or basement; being forced to clean out an area because of a flood; and losing every stick of furniture, every scrap of food, every stitch of clothing one owns as a result of a fire.

Charlie Brown was right.

Let’s face it: America is a society that is built upon consumerism. We acquire things that we need, don’t need and just straight up and want. Then we don’t want to get rid of them for a variety of reasons. We have memories attached to them. It might be worth something someday. We might need it again one day. I think this is why the aforementioned sitcom fire episode was so powerful for many Americans. We are terrified of losing our stuff.

If I lost all of my possessions, I would do the same thing that everybody else would do: I would start over. In the beginning, you have no choice, but to depend on the charity and goodwill of others. Sure, you might have insurance, but it takes a long time for insurance claims to be processed and then to actually replace everything. But I’m the one, when you don’t have anywhere to sleep, anything to eat, or any clothes to change into, you have to depend on the generosity of others.

I’ve never been a victim of a fire, so I cannot pretend to understand how traumatic of an experience that must be. I have had some minor flooding in the basement of a few homes that I’ve lived in. This has forced me to get rid of things that I otherwise would have kept. For somebody who strive to be more of a minimalist like I do, this is almost a blessing in disguise. If something is ruined, moldy, or waterlogged, you have no choice but to get rid of it; as painful as it may be to do so.

When I first saw the above meme, I was going through my divorce, and I could relate to it. And most separation/divorce situation, mothers stay in the home with the children, while the fathers have to find a new place of their own . I have met a few couples who would actually share the home during custodial time and have an apartment or another house for the non-custodial parent. The rationale for this being that the children are able to stay in their home, and aside from one parent, or the other being out of the house, the lives are about as normal as they can be. I commend divorce and couples who were able to do this. Unfortunately, neither of my split ups were amicable enough to do something like this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to suggest the experiences of a divorced dad can’t even compare to the trauma of losing everything you were in a flood, fire, or natural disaster. But like those disaster victims, the divorce, dad has to start over again. No, it’s not the same as losing every single thing you own, but it is a rebuilding process. See what I did there?

If I suddenly lost all of my possessions, I would start over. It would suck, and I would hate it, but I would do it. You have no other choice.

What would you do if you lost all of your possessions? Have you been through any of the experiences that I mentioned above?

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UPDATE: this past week, I surpassed my highest yearly total for visits to this blog, so this is an extra special shout out and thank you again!