One green flag, and one red flag

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What do you like being complimented on? What is a compliment you don’t like to receive?

When talking about relationships, people talk about red flags – or tendencies to stay away from. But they also talk about green flags, or good attributes that makeup potential partner a keeper.

With that in mind, I now give you one thing I like being complimented on and one thing that I do not like to be complimented on. You can think of them as one green flag and one red flag.

GREEN FLAG: You’re such a good listener

This is become a big one with me in the last few years. I think it’s because X2 I used to accuse me of not listening to her. And maybe it’s possible that I wasn’t reading between the lines with her. She would tell me that I was hearing her, but not listening.

But over the last years, I’ve had numerous people compliment me, saying that I am “such a good listener“. That’s something I take a great deal of pride in now. the truth is, I think people just want to be heard. They want to know that someone is not only listening to you, but hearing what they have to say.

In my experience, this one is certainly not a turn off for the ladies. I doesn’t take much. Just listen to people. Actually hear what they’re saying. Be receptive, be responsive. Empathize. It goes a long way.

RED FLAG: You’re so nice

The word “nice “has become so overused and cliché, that it is actually taken on a negative connotation. At this point, nice is just a synonym for mediocre.

In relationships, particularly for guys, it is the absolute kiss of death. Usually being told that you’re a nice guy is a meaning preceded by the word “but”.

You’re a really nice guy, but…
“You’re so nice!!”

If you hear either of these expressions, get ready for the other shoe to fall. Bad news is coming your way.

I can go on and on ranting about how “women only want the jerks”. I think that is true, at least for women who don’t really know what they’re looking for. But at the same time, I think someone who seems too nice almost comes across as disingenuous. It’s like old saying goes: “if something seems too good to be true, it usually is“. That’s not to say that I don’t try to be nice all the time, but I could see where being with a nice guy might seem boring after a while.

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The article “one green flag and one red flag“ first appeared on Rebuilding Rob

The article “One green flag, and one red flag” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.