Rebuilding Rob

Before I get started with my answer to today’s prompt, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the fact that today is the anniversary of “Pearl Harbor day” here in the United States. It’s the anniversary of the day the Japanese attacked the US Naval base at Pearl Harbor in 1941. This event, single-handedly thrust United States in the World War II, and help shaped much of the world as we have known it for the last 80 years.

I’m at one of these people who pretends to be over patriotic, but I think as we’re getting further removed from World War II, any “the greatest generation“ are dying off, the war itself is becoming more of just another story in a history book. Sometimes it’s one of those things that we have to remember actually took place and shaped our world…

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

Do you believe in the notion of “right person, wrong time”, in the context of romantic relationships?

For a long time, I was more of a believer. It’s a comforting thought, isn’t it? That a great love slipped away not because of a fundamental mismatch, but because the stars simply weren’t aligned. We all go through different phases in our lives. The last few years have been a time of great transition for me. Not just because X2 and I split up and we’re all adjusting to life in this post-Covid world, but because I’ve been rediscovering myself, fighting for myself.

I’ve been realizing that I don’t need a relationship to define me. For a long time, I felt like I did need one to find who I was, believing that being in a relationship would define my happiness. I’m not that person anymore.

Looking back now, I wondered if my relationship with X2 was simply at the wrong time. She had said as much herself. And I realize now that having met her less than a year after my divorce, I probably wasn’t ready to be in a relationship again. Looking back on the whole X2 experience, I realize that in the end, I was more emotionally invested in the idea of the relationship than I was with X2 herself. This is where the comforting lie of “wrong time” lived.

The Comforting Lie Crumbles

Today, I don’t know if X2 ever was the right person for me, or if I was ever the right person for her for that matter. But I look at the people we are today, and well, I don’t really know her anymore. I couldn’t see a scenario where her and I could get back together. We could use the polite fiction that “we’ve grown apart,” but looking at the chasm between the people we are now—the people we are comfortable being now—I realize that time didn’t keep us apart; it simply revealed a truth. Maybe we never were right for each other. Maybe there never was such thing as “right person, wrong time.”

The more I think about it, the more I realize that if it’s the right person, things will work themselves out. The “wrong time”—be it mental health struggles, substance abuse issues, or geographical distance—doesn’t end a truly right connection; it merely serves as its crucible. It takes enormous patience, sometimes sacrifice, and an ironclad bond to persevere through those dark places.

How do some people do it? How do they weather such enormous storms; things far more gut-wrenching or traumatic than anything I’ve ever dealt with while being in a relationship? The only conclusion I can draw is that the commitment to persevere—that strong bond—is the definition of “right person.”

---

Neither X1 nor X2 were really meant to be. I no longer believe in “right person, wrong time.” If the connection is truly right, the love will create the right time.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related (and perhaps, not-so-related) posts:

• Sunday is borrowed time
• Teacher Armor and the Saturday Clearing
• The Extra Day: A Ten-Year Memory
• Of Training Wheels and Christmas Lights
• Charity Starts at Home (And I’m Back in My Childhood One)

AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “Why I Stopped Believing in “Right Person, Wrong Time” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.