My Retirement Plan Is Death (And Other Recurring Problems I’m Fixing)

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What is a recurring problem in your life?

It’s not that I’m in a mood to beat myself up or anything, but immediately there are two things that come to mind that have been recurring problems throughout my life. The first one certainly has been an issue through my adult life. The second one perhaps being something that I’ve had to work on since I was a kid.

Not being good with my finances

It probably doesn’t help that I work in a field where the salary is lousy. But I’ve never really been good with money. When I have it, I tend to spend it on frivolous things that I don’t really need. Basically, I’m living from paycheck to paycheck. To make matters worse, things are constantly getting more expensive here in the United States, and salaries are not increasing to keep up with the higher cost of living.

As I’ve written about before, my credit is shot, and my current retirement plan is death. I’m really hoping to start getting more serious about both my credit and my retirement plans in the coming year. It doesn’t help that after my divorce and the end of my long-term relationship, I basically had to rebuild (pun intended) my life twice.

Being assertive

If finances are the recurring challenge of my wallet, then being assertive is the recurring challenge of my character. This is one that, admittedly, I’m getting better at with every passing year. But the truth is, I’ve always been too much of a nice guy. I have to consciously remind myself to speak my mind and speak up for things that I want. And that every now and then it’s OK to just be selfish.

In fact, just two nights ago, I was talking to X1 about a gift that I wanted to get Kid 1 for Christmas. It’s a tool set. And it was really the only thing on his Christmas list that I wanted to be sure came from me. When I was in college, the old man would buy me tools, birthday, and Christmas just to help me build up my own toolbox.

I got online on Friday to actually make the purchase and I saw that the toolbox was no longer on his Amazon list. I texted X1 and explained the situation, so she agreed to return it.

A big part of me felt like I was being a baby about the whole situation. But it actually really hurt me. If I’m being honest, it made me mad. I thought I had a conversation with X1 about how badly I wanted to get Kid 1 the toolbox, but evidently, I did not. Nevertheless, she was very cool about returning it. I did not expect that from her. But this was definitely one of those cases where it paid off to speak my mind. I have to remind myself of moments like this sometimes going forward.

Tying it Together

So, what do these two recurring problems—financial stability and personal assertiveness—have in common? They both come down to self-worth and boundary setting. Learning to value my time and effort by demanding a higher salary is a form of assertiveness, just as much as speaking up for the perfect Christmas gift. They are two sides of the same coin, and both require me to stop being the “nice guy” who doesn’t prioritize his own needs. It’s time to start rebuilding myself with firm foundations, both in my bank account and in my voice. To make this concrete, I’m committing to two immediate changes: consciously speaking up in those moments where I’d normally stay silent, and starting next month, setting aside a dedicated $100 toward rebuilding my financial future.

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