Acknowledge Me: The Simple Art of Being Seen

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What makes you feel seen and understood by another person?

Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned about making sure people feel seen in a “herd” came from my time working in retail. It’s a fast-paced environment where it’s easy to become just another face in the crowd, but I found that a few simple shifts in how we interact can change everything.

Say Their Name

One of the things I learned in retail—and I see this play out in various other walks of life—is that people feel truly acknowledged when you use their name. It could be something as simple as saying, “I know how you feel, Rob, and I feel the same way too.”

Heck, I’ve had people use this tactic on me before, and it works. It makes me feel seen, heard, and acknowledged. If someone is paying close enough attention to learn your name and make a conscious effort to say it, you know they are truly present in the conversation.

Acknowledge Me

No, I don’t mean this the way Roman Reigns did during his “Tribal Chief” run in the WWE! But I do feel appreciated when someone acknowledges my effort.

Just yesterday, Phred’s car battery died. She had been sick for a day and a half, so I offered to put a new one in for her after she ordered it from the auto parts store. I’ve replaced car batteries before, so it wasn’t a huge deal to me, but even though the cost set her back $300, I could tell she was sincerely grateful I took care of the labor.

“Wow, thanks Rob,” she said more than once. That simple verbal acknowledgement made the greasy hands and cold weather worth it.

The Power of Small Gestures

This probably sounds a bit selfish, but I know I am being appreciated when someone does something nice for me. Whether they do it first or they’re returning a favor, those acts of service make me feel valued.

Yesterday was also the last day of classes at my school before the holiday break. A few of the teachers bought presents for one another, and I took the initiative to write Christmas cards for the entire staff. Some of the students took part in a “Secret Santa” exchange as well.

I received a gift from one student—a couple of scented candles. The teacher I share my classroom with got me a metallic coffee tumbler. A teacher next door had baked various treats, wrapped them in bags, and handed them out to the staff.

We did these things not because we were expecting something in return, but for the sake of doing something kind. Even the students in the Secret Santa are learning; they may start out focused on the gift they’ll receive, but that’s how young people begin to learn the virtue of giving—by taking part in the exchange.

Turning Toward the Horizon

Looking back on the day, it wasn’t the price of the battery or the coffee tumbler that stayed with me; it was the “Wow, thanks Rob.” It was the feeling of being factored into someone else’s day. We spent the last day of school exchanging trinkets, but what we were really exchanging was validation.

So, as you move through the world this week, try saying a name. Try an unexpected favor. You might be surprised by how much light it throws on someone else’s horizon.

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The article “Acknowledge Me: The Simple Art of Being Seen” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.

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