A Festivus for the Rest of Us: Finding Confidence in the Giving

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

Before I dive in, I’d like to wish a Happy Festivus to all the Seinfeld fans around the world. In the spirit of the holiday, consider this my “airing of grievances”—though my grievance today is mostly with my own internal holiday anxieties.

If you know, you know…

I feel that today’s prompt is particularly timely with Christmas only two days away:

Would you rather receive one $100 gift, or 3-4 gifts that add-up to $100?

The Festivus Dilemma: Quality vs. Quantity

In years past, I would have reflexively chosen the 3 or 4 gifts. There’s a certain dopamine hit in the volume—the more packages, the more “success” the holiday feels like. But as I sit down to write today, my perspective has shifted. I find myself preferring a single, more substantial gift.

Part of this is practical; things are simply getting more expensive, and one quality item often outlasts four smaller ones. But part of it is the perspective that comes with getting older. I’ve realized that a single, well-chosen gift often carries a deeper level of intentionality. It says that the giver wasn’t just checking boxes; they were truly paying attention to a specific need or a quiet wish.

Ghosts of Christmas and birthdays Past: Navigating Holiday Anxiety

This brings me, of course, to my own role as a giver. Whether I’m shopping for my sons or a significant other, I often struggle with a deep-seated holiday anxiety. Perhaps the worst manifestation of this was during my time with X2—an experience I’ve written about before—where the pressure to “perform” through gift-giving felt overwhelming.

Even now, those old ghosts haunt my shopping trips. I worry about the math: Am I spending enough? Will I have enough left for bills once the wrapping paper is cleared away? Will they actually like what I’ve chosen? It’s easy to let the price tag become a proxy for my value as a father or a partner.

The Simple Art of Being Seen

However, I’m finding moments of clarity this year. Veronica, for instance, seems genuinely happy and excited to go see Miracle on 34th St.: The Musical. It’s a reminder that an experience—a moment of being together and sharing something meaningful—often outweighs a mountain of plastic. Her gratitude helps quiet that voice in my head that insists I need to do “more” to be “enough.”

This one is a little unrealistic, but this is the goal

Choosing Confidence Over the Calculator

Now, my focus is on Kid 1 and Kid 2. I’m working on trading my anxiety for confidence. I want to move away from the frantic need to fill space under the tree and move toward the “simple art of being seen.” Whether I give them one big gift or a few smaller ones, the goal isn’t to hit a specific dollar amount; it’s to ensure they feel acknowledged and understood.

As I wrap up my shopping, I’m realizing that the best gift I can give myself is the permission to stop worrying. The value of the holiday isn’t found in the receipt—it’s found in the recognition of the people we love.

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