The Cost of the License: Why I’m Done Performing

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What do you think about marriage?

This is a topic I’ve written on a lot over the years, mostly trying to figure out where I stand. For a while now, I’ve been afraid to truly share my deepest thoughts on the matter.

Marriage is a time-tested construct, but as time goes by, we are learning that it isn’t strictly necessary. It has always struck me as odd that marriage is simultaneously a religious sacrament and a civil institution. While many couples marry in a house of worship, the reality is defined by a license issued by a county clerk—an official document of the state.

After my own experiences—a marriage, a divorce, and a long-term relationship that never quite made it to the altar—I’ve come to feel that marriage is less relevant than ever. People have to continue having children to sustain the human race, but we all know that not all marriages produce children, nor are all children the product of married couples.

I’ve watched videos of a specific divorce lawyer whose stats on unsuccessful marriages are staggering, if not a bit low. He’s right: there is a societal expectation that we must get married, and when some of us are brave enough to ask “why?”, we are scorned for it.

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Breaking the Construct

At this point, I don’t know if I’ll ever do it again. Right now, Veronica is the person most likely to be the “next future ex-Mrs. Rob.” Even phrasing it that way shows my lack of confidence in the institution. Perhaps the biggest factor is what marriage does to me personally. I’ve seen it suck the passion out of other men’s lives, and I’ve felt it happen to me. Even in my last long-term relationship, I could feel the “family construct” breaking me down.

Maybe that sounds cynical, but I prefer to think of it as being awake. I’m no longer interested in performing a role that doesn’t fit just because society expects a leading man. Whether I’m moving forward with Veronica or standing on my own, I’m choosing a life built on actual connection rather than outdated obligation.

If the cost of marriage is the loss of my own passion and identity, it’s a price I’m simply no longer willing to pay. I don’t need to be married to be happy; I just need to be me.

I know my perspective might be seen as cynical by some, but for me, it’s about clarity. What about you? Have you ever felt the pressure of the ‘marriage construct,’ or have you found a path that works better for you? Let’s talk in the comments.

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The article “The Cost of the License: Why I’m Done Performing” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.

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