The Audacity of Staying Put (Or: 13 Years in the Middle)

I’m starting to run out of prompts to use – both from WordPress and from webpage that I’ve been using . Props to Google Gemini for suggesting today’s prompt.

Reflecting on the “Tween Years”—a look back at the 13-year evolution of this blog, the life that started it, and the man who is still here today.

As I recently surpassed 850 consecutive days of posting, I’ve started thinking about the history of this blog itself. I actually began blogging back in 2012, right in the middle of my divorce proceedings. But as much as I like to reflect, I’ve never truly looked back at the history of the blog—or more to the point, where I was in my life when it all started.

This past fall, I spent some time going back through my oldest entries. I started updating them with my logo and using tools like “latest” and “related” posts. I don’t know if it did anything to uptick my traffic, but I did it to make the blog feel uniform. In doing so, I realized how much has happened in the 13.5 years since my divorce—things I never thought would be possible.

The Return that Never Was

When I first moved back to Michigan, my immediate thought was: Get back to school, update my teaching certificate, and get back to South Carolina ASAP. I didn’t intend on finding peace here. Growing up in this area, I always felt like an outsider—not in an “emo kid” way, but just like I never quite fit in.

Maybe it took that “fish out of water” experience in the South to make me appreciate Metro Detroit. Regardless, I’m still here. I never made that return trip, and a big part of that was “The X2 Experience.”

Derailing the Plan

I didn’t plan on meeting anyone so soon after my first marriage ended. I entered the world of online dating, hoping for happiness, but meeting X2 completely derailed any thoughts of moving back South. We had an on-again, off-again relationship that spanned seven years and gave me Kid Two.

I love both of my sons with all my heart. But, if I’m being honest, sometimes I look back on those seven years with X2 and wish I could have them back.

Finding Peace in Solitude

Thirteen years ago, I was a heartbroken hopeless romantic. I used to think I had to be in a relationship to be truly happy.

Don’t get me wrong—if I’d had my way back then, I would have brought Kid 1 to Michigan and been a single parent forever. I don’t say that out of resentment toward his mom; I just would have done it. Today, anyone I date has to realize I am a package deal. My sons come first.

But beyond being a father, I’ve finally gotten to know who Rob is again. I like me. I like the things I do for fun. I’m a smart, funny guy. I’ve reached a point where I’m not terribly social, and that doesn’t bother me anymore. It took a lot of work to get to this level of being happily alone.

The Hardening and the Healing

If my first divorce broke my heart, the end of my relationship with X2 hardened it. I thought that X2 was my last chance at being happy. Back then, I was a people-pleaser, willing to do whatever it took to make a partner happy at the expense of my own personality.

I’m no longer willing to settle for anything less than 100% of what I want. Being alone is no longer the worst thing that can happen to me; being in a bad relationship is a fate worse than death.

I know it’s ironic for a blog called Rebuilding Rob, but I’m tired of starting over. I’m tired of being the guy with the empty bedroom or the empty apartment, rebuilding his little piece of the Earth from scratch one more time.

Looking Toward 2026

I know I talk about these topics ad nauseam, but the start of a new year makes me reflective.

I don’t know what this year holds. I don’t know what will happen with Veronica, or with my job at the end of the school year. It’s all a bit terrifying. I’m also thinking about my mother’s health. For the last two years, Phred and I have said, “I don’t think she’ll be here next year,” yet she’s still chugging along. I know one day that will change, and I’ll have to deal with the grief of losing a parent all over again. I know that a big part of what has me thinking about Mother‘s mortality right now is the fact that one of the residents down the hall from her passed away Friday night/Saturday morning.

My feelings about 2026 are like my feelings about the current political climate: I hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. I’m just hoping to survive it all. 2026 will hold pitfalls and possibilities I can’t imagine yet. In the meantime, I’ll heed the words of local radio legend The Electrifying Mojo:

“Grab a rope, tie a big knot, and hold on.”

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AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “The Audacity of Staying Put (Or: 13 Years in the Middle)” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.