The Squad Car vs. The Smartphone: Why Gen X Parents Can’t Let Go

Eric Fulton, the mastermind behind his self-titled blog, had a fascinating post recently where he discussed surviving his childhood. It got me thinking about the “Gen X Badge of Honor” we often wear.

The Gen X Badge of Honor

You’ve seen the social media posts—the ones where we thump our chests about drinking from garden hoses and staying out until the streetlights came on. We take a weird pride in the fact that TV stations used to run public service ads asking, “It’s 10:00 PM. Do you know where your children are?”

I know that a lot of people think the world is becoming more violent and dangerous. To an extent, maybe it is. There are more people on the planet than there were 50 years ago, and by that fact alone, there is a greater raw number of incidents. But the truth is, crimes like kidnapping and trafficking have been going on forever.

The Paradox of Protection

Despite knowing that, I notice that I am much more of a “helicopter dad” to Kid 1 and Kid 2 than either of my parents were to me at the same age. I’m trying to figure out why.

Sometimes I think it’s because I’m more aware of the dangers. But then again, The Old Man father was a police officer. He wasn’t naive, and he certainly didn’t raise us to be. He saw the world’s dangers through a squad car window, yet he still let me roam. I see them through a smartphone screen, and I find it much harder to let go.

Seeing the World Through a Different Lens

I don’t necessarily think the world is proportionately more dangerous than it was when I was a child; I think we just hear about things so much more frequently now. There is no way to truly comprehend the total sum of human suffering, yet our media seems hell-bent on ensuring we try to.

I wonder if I’m doing my kids a disservice by this. Eric mentioned in his blog that he got hurt, scraped his knees, and rode a bike without a helmet. For the most part, our generation turned out okay. However, the more I think about it, the more I think helmets are a good thing. We’ve learned so much more about closed-head trauma and concussions than we knew back then. Seeing the fallout of CTE in professional athletes is a stark reminder of that reality.

The Value of a Scraped Knee

As parents, it’s our natural instinct to want to protect our kids at all costs. But I do think that every now and then, kids benefit from scraping a knee or even dealing with the “bumps” of life.

Last school year, when Kid 1 was dating a girl during his senior year, I remember thinking to myself, “Maybe he needs to go through a good, old-fashioned heartbreak.” I’ve never been a “tough love” guy, but I do think those experiences toughen people up, just like the aforementioned physical scrapes.

Why Do We Do This?

I don’t want to come across as a parent who’s going to throw my kid in the ocean and tell them to swim. Just the opposite, actually. I’ll probably continue to be hyper-vigilant in order to be sure they’re as safe as possible. I’m just not entirely sure why I do it.

Why do any of us?

I’d love to hear from you.

Especially my fellow Gen Xers who are now in the thick of parenting: Where do you think this hyper-vigilance comes from?

Is it the medium or is it us? Do you think our tendency to “helicopter” is a direct reaction to the extreme freedom we experienced as children? Or is it simply that we are the first generation of parents forced to navigate the 24-hour digital dread machine?

Drop a comment below: Are you letting your kids “scrape their knees,” or are you, like me, still struggling to put the metaphorical helmet away?

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