The Audacity of Wanting More

Thanks to Eric Fulton for this writing prompt. Eric is the geo- tracking mastermind of Eric Fulton’s blog. If you haven’t seen his blog yet, check it out!

What happens when you stop apologizing for wanting more?

As someone who has spent much of my life leaning into passivity, I have a clear inkling of what happens when you stop apologizing for “wanting more.” For years, I’ve used the reflexive “I’m sorry” as both a shield to prevent conflict and a bridge to ensure I remained liked. I’m not sure if it was a trait I inherited or a byproduct of a lack of confidence, but being the “nice guy” became a default setting—even when I knew, logically, that some people would dislike me for that very trait.

The “Nice Guy” Shield

I talk often about the work of becoming more assertive. To me, assertiveness means pursuing what you want—for yourself and for those you love—without the reflexive need to apologize for taking up space. It’s about realizing that while politeness is a virtue, wanting more for yourself isn’t a vice.

Strong Enough to be Gentle

There is a line between assertiveness and aggression. It ties back to the core philosophy of being “strong enough to be gentle.” You can be firm in your desires without being hollow in your character. When you lead with assertiveness rather than aggression, you gain respect rather than fear.

Choosing Option C

Historically, my “11-degree shift” only happened when I reached a point of total exasperation. I would bottle things up until I hit a breaking point, and then I’d pursue what I wanted with a sudden, un-apologetic explosion. I’m learning now to find that gear sooner, without the drama of a meltdown. I think of my recent relationship transitions: in the past, I would have “hemmed and hawed,” beating around the bush to avoid the discomfort of a clean break. With Jessica, however, I didn’t apologize for my lack of comfort. I chose Option C—choosing myself—and I didn’t say I was sorry for it.

Maybe it’s not just that I’m becoming more assertive; maybe it’s that I’ve simply run out of patience in my advancing age. But whether it’s a promotion at work, a healthier dynamic with family, or simply demanding basic courtesy from a stranger, the result is the same: you shouldn’t have to apologize for the audacity of your own potential.

Coming Up on Rebuilding Rob: The Podcast

This week, we’re looking at the very foundation of the rebuild. Episode Six dives into the role of the blog—not just as a daily habit, but as a diagnostic tool for navigating the “tween years.” We’re talking about the grit behind the 1,000-day goal and how writing it down serves as the roadmap for whatever comes next. Catch the new episode this Wednesday!

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The article “The Audacity of Wanting More” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob