8-Hour Loops: The Sleepless Knight at 3 AM

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

I have trouble sleeping when…

The 8-Hour Mental Loop

I’ve written on this blog in the past about how I think of myself as a “Sleepless Knight.” For most of my life, sleep and I have never been very good friends. I like sleep; I enjoy it. I just wish I was better at it and could do it longer.

I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself a chronic insomniac—as some of my family members evidently are—but usually, what keeps me awake are my thoughts.

I don’t know if I’ve ever necessarily been “afraid of the dark.” In fact, like a lot of people, I think I’m more afraid of what I don’t know is in the dark. It’s the ignorance of what may be lurking there that scares most of us. But more than that, there are things I see or hear during the day that stick in my head, playing on a loop like an eight-hour YouTube clip.

The Weight of the Day

As an adult, it’s often stress that keeps me up—specifically financial stress. “Where am I going to get the money to pay for this?” is usually the driving force behind my anxiety and sleepless nights today.

Other times, I’m simply overtired. In those situations, it feels like I have to decompress before I can even get comfortable enough to fall asleep. It likely has to do with heart rate or breathing—getting them to a certain point where brain activity slows down enough to relax.

I’ve also talked at length here about my issues with anxiety. As a little kid, I was a very anxious sleeper. I hated going to bed at nine—not because I felt like it was the “end of fun,” but because I had trouble relaxing in the dark and silence.

The Pilot Light Phenomenon

I’ve gone through different phases. There are times when I need the room pitch black and essentially silent. Other times, when I’m in a state of high anxiety, I need a light on or even a TV for ambient white noise. However, these days—and for a long time now—I have definitely been in the former camp, where I need the room quiet and dark in order to sleep.

Despite the struggle, I’ve found that even on two hours of sleep, I can still rise to the occasion and build what I need to. I’ve heard that this phenomenon is called “anticipatory sleep“ I know for me personally, it’s as if I lay down at night, knowing that I’m going to have to be up in a bit. And maybe somehow my body doesn’t allow itself to enter REM sleep – obviously because I’m not out long enough . But it’s almost as if a proverbial pilot light is left on somewhere in my brain while the rest of my body shuts down for a bit Maybe that’s the ‘Knight’ in me—knowing that even when the rest is elusive, the work doesn’t stop.

Today’s post is inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt. While I’ve taken the topic in my own direction for the Road to 1,000 Days, you can find more responses to today’s prompt HERE .

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The article “8-Hour Loops: The Sleepless Knight at 3 AM” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.