I have good days and I have bad days. On those days in-the-middle, i have good times and i have bad times.
Earlier tonight was one of those bad times. As time drags on, i’m having a harder time dealing with not seeing my son. I occurred to me earlier tonight that this – living w/ my parents, scraping to get by, going back to school – this is my life now. It’s not a vacation; it is the new normal. And it sucks.
Today is September 11 and by and large, I’ve done a pretty good of avoiding all of the 9/11 TV specials. This is especially interesting since I’ve been home all day. I may be that 9/11 is finally becoming just another day in history for most of us. In my opinion, that’s a good thing. it suggests a return to normalcy for the country at large.
I finally went through the separation document the STBX had written up and put my remarks into a Word document for my lawyer to look at. I hope to finally send that to him tomorrow.
Yesterday, I started something I should have done 22 years ago. Inspired by my high school reunion, I decided to finally label photos from my trip to France all those years ago. Whatever it takes, I guess.
Last night was my much-blogged-about 20 year high school reunion. I have to say, it far exceed my expectations.
There were no more cliques, just people. People who despite whatever differences they may have had in the past, shared a remarkable amount of common memories. A lot,(most of) the people I talked to were people I never spoke to or hung out with in high school. I was amazed how many people I recognized. the trick was to look at people’s faces. Hair and body shapes were nopt going to be enough. Too much time has passed. That, and Mother Nature and Father Time have had their way with all of us. For better or for worse.
Apparently, a decision was made to NOT get name tags – to encourage people to talk to each other. It worked. I think I spoke to more people in 6 hours last night than i did in 4 years of high school.
My quixotic hope of meeting someone at the reunion did not come to pass. Granted, that was not the reason I went last night. I really did go, as i said before, to put some old demons to rest. What I found most amazing about last night was that even a person like myself, who traveled the halls of my high school in relative anonymity, was even remembered at all. This may sound pathetic, but I even feel better now about my high school experience than I ever have. For some people, maybe that’s a reason enough to have these things.
I feel bad for the people who weren’t able to come last night; but I feel even worse for the people who chose not to come. If a ex-teenage misanthrope like me could bury the hatchet with my past and have a great time, ANYBODY can.
Who knows? Maybe 20 years from now, i’ll be able to bury the hatchet with the STBX.
“…and that brings back to doh….”
- Going Back to Your High School Reunion as a Famous Actor Has to Be the Best Feeling Ever (averagenobodies.com)
- I Crashed a High School Reunion (52milespermonth.wordpress.com)
- Why you never leave high school (kaylalpeterson.wordpress.com)
Tonight is my 20 year high school reunion and I’m not sure why I’m so excited about. I didn’t have a lot friends in high school – at least not many that I graduated with. Most of my friends were either a year older or younger than myself.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I haven’t been very social since returning to the Heights. I mean, I’ve been out a few times but this is different.
Mostly, I feel like this is my time to cast out some old demons. I don’t mean that in a “confront the old schoolyard bully” way. I don’t have a ton of great high school stories; and I make no secret of the fact that I feel the real fun began in college. But I feel like its time to bury the proverbial hatchet with my past, let go with old grudges from my awkward years and move on.
Truth be told, if it wasn’t for the number of friend requests I got on Facebook, I probably wouldn’t have even considered going.
The other day, Sis said “Maybe things happen for a reason”. I’m hopeful, but trying not to get my hopes too high.
- I Crashed a High School Reunion (52milespermonth.wordpress.com)
When I wasn’t taking my impending separation well, my soon-to-be-ex-wife suggested that I start writing again.
Be careful what you wish for…
I’m 38 and the father of the greatest five-year old boy in the world. Twenty-nine days ago I moved out my house, leaving my son and my-soon-to-be-ex-wife (hereafter referred to as the STBX) five states away and back in with my parents. It was (and is) the only option I had (and have) available at the moment.
Thomas Wolfe was right when he said “you can’t go home again“. I thought I’d be excited top be back in familiar surroundings, but it isn’t the same place anymore. So much of the area has built up in the last eight years, and so much of it was abandoned when the economy sank a few years back. I used to know every single family who lived on my block. Now I hardly recognize any of the houses, let alone the people who now live in them. A very bizarre sensation, but one I should have expected.
My immediate family has been great. God bless ’em. They have been the very model of unconditional love. My brother and my Dad helped me pack my things and move back here. My mother, unable to unable to make the trip herself, was here to welcome me with open arms when we got back. My sister has proven once again to be a great friend, confidante and drinking partner.
A SIDE NOTE: No matter how old you are, your parents will always treat you like you’re eight years old. At least the really good ones will. Sure, it’s annoying at times but they mean well. Taking care of you is the mission with which they were charged when you were born. It’s just in their DNA.
Getting back to me: I think I’m adjusting to my new-old life fairly well. At times, I feel a little lost. I’m currently not working, but my plan is to get back into school this fall to finish my Master’s degree. I’ll probably have to move to wherever I can find a job, but ideally I’d like to be relatively close to my son. I have no intention of becoming a “weekend and holiday dad”. To her credit, my STBX and I have thus far remained “a united front” on all things pertaining to our son.
On a different topic: my 20 year high school reunion is coming up. I did not attend either my 5 or 10 year reunions but I’m excited about this one. I did not particularly enjoy my high school years, I’m curious to see some of my old classmates again. I blame Facebook for this change of heart. When I got on there, I started friending people whom I went to school with but never talked to. Social media really has changed our world.
ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: Anyone who tells you that high school is the best time of your life has never been to college.