I had a dream last night/this morning that The Auteur was working in a gas station.  She didn’t know me.  I was calling her in a Jimmy Stewart-style plea to get her attention.  At first, I thought she didn’t see or hear me, like in It’s A Wonderful Life.  Finally she said “Can I help you sir,” to which I responded with a cheesy, melodramatic “Nooo!” only to wake up.

Cyrus Redblock, looking like the guy who made off with all my books

I had a dream this morning that ALL of my books – from both childhood and adulthood – had been stolen.  The odd thing is, I met the guy who had stolen them.  He had a name – I forgot it already.   He was an “old school” criminal type – much like the Cyrus Redblock character from the star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Big Goodbye”.

When I asked for my books back, he went into a rant about “this is how we did it in the pen back in my day…” and threatened to cut off one of my fingers with a switchblade.  At that point, I left without my books and woke up shortly thereafter.

I had  a dream last night/this morning that there were two snakes in my bedroom. initially, I was scared of both of them (in the dream itself, I was incorrectly describing them as an anaconda and a boa constrictor though they were nowhere near large enough to be either one.)

I was freaked out by both of them, but I was only taking steps to catch and kill one of them.  Someone had shown me some poisonous grass I could leave to feed it.  The other snake really didn’t concern me.

Have you ever had two bad dreams in the same night?  or was it just one really long  bad dream?  Only my mind  knows for sure…

In the first one, my friend Dan stopped by my house.  He wanted to set up a video camera on my neighbor’s roof so he could “see” what our old friend Jenny – from high school – was up to.  For some dumb reason, I agreed to help him as he took down part of the cyclone fencing separating my neighbor’s yard from mine. Then, I proceeded to help him forcibly enter the neighbor’s basement to that he could set up the video camera on the roof. (Why he needed to go into the basement so that he could go on the roof is beyond me; but this is a dream im talking about)

Anyway, after much fumbling around, I help him hang up some throw rugs  over the door ways – basically so that the neighbors can;t see what he’s doing.  At this point, I realize that the neighbors are in fact, the next door neighbors from my first house in Summerville.  At one point, he said he was ok so i left for work.  Incidentally, in this dream, i am the manager of the Detroit Tigers.

While the team is practicing – because I live right next to the Tigers practice facility, Lance Parrish shows up representing the MLB front offices.  They got a complaint from the NY Mets, accusing me of spying on their team practices – presumably with dan’s camera used to spy on Jenny.

In the second one…

I was at my old high school, apparently a senior there again and I decided to skip 8th period.  As I was getting ready to leave, I saw this girl (who i graduated with in real life mind you, but never spoke to in high school) who had decided to skip 8th period also. We left together.  For some reason, I decided to let her drive my car.  We decided to go to Dodge Park, where she proceeded to get very sick – as if she was having a seizure or something.  I was trying to figure out how to call her i phone, but couldn’t figure it out because I don’t do Apple products.  Somehow, her mom managed to call through while I struggled with the phone.  Her mom explained that this girl also got locked out of the school during the senior all-night party the night before.  So I had to explain to this woman that her daughter had a broken arm and a broken jaw as a result of some seizure and we needed to contact her doctor.

And The Auteur wonders why I can’t sleep at night…