Tag Archives: Social club


I’ve been a way from the blogosphere a little too long. Let’s see what I can do to right that.

Friday night was another one of the local social club‘s monthly happy hour events. Even though these things only last three hours, the group of people that sis and I hang out with inevitably end up going to another bar or two and closing them; with everybody sharing rides home or crashing with people who live within walking distance of the bars. Needless to say, happy hour nights result in spending large amounts of money, consuming prodigious amounts of alcohol and other commonly related events along that trajectory.

Happy Hour was at a bar that, while a cool place to hang out, was simply too small a place for a group the size of the social club. We left right at 9 to go a birthday party for Steeler and 2 of his friends at another bar. (Apparently they do this every year after the March happy hour and it results in a big crowd.) even though Phred and I were still pissed about last month’s fiasco with Steeler, we decided to go anyway.

Ivy, after tagging along at the entire happy hour rode over to the next bar with us. More on Ivy later. As she usually does, Sis spots SHG over by Steeler’s party booth long before I do. I make my way to the booth, but somehow end up not talking to her right away- saying “Hi’s” and shooting the shit with various drinking buddies in the space between her and I. Eventually, we bumped into each other just off the dance floor about 10 minutes later. After hellos and a couple lines of idiotic small-talk, I decided I needed closure:

R:  Listen, I’m gonna let the elephant out of the room here; I tried to call you that last time…

SHG: Yeah…I know… (she stammers a little. her whole body language changes. She now wears a nervous smile)

She clearly wasn’t prepared for this run-in. I was seeing her in an entirely new light for the first time. And despite the fact that I was one who got rejected by her, I felt as if I was in control of the entire situation. In a twisted and inexplicable kind of way, I had achieved that which George Costanza so desperately sought on Seinfeld. I HAD HAND.

Jesus, she’s spineless I thought to myself.  Besides, at this point I was just beating a dead horse…

R: I’ll let ya go. (Exit Rob, stage left)

I was a little hurt right after it happened, but as it turns out I didn’t talk to her again that night. Hell, I didn’t even look for her again, let alone see her. At that point, the SHG saga was done.

As hurt as I was when she blew me off, I think I almost pity her more after seeing how tongue-tied and gutless she was on Friday night.  Despite her outward: the confidence with which she carries herself, her good looks, her great fashion sense – she struck me as rather pathetic at that moment.  Like a person who rabbit-punches you from behind – it’s dirty and you’re pissed yet you can tell that that’s not how they normally fight.

I’ve been rejected both ways:  the quiet “path of least resistance” way that SHG tried; and I’ve had women tell me point-blank “I’m not interested”.  The fact is, a bullet to the head is colder, but a lot quicker and  less painful than bleeding to death from a thousand open wounds.

While all this goes on, Ivy looms in the back ground…

an interesting night…for all too many reasons…

Another happy hour with the social club has come and passed. I took some advice from the bathroom graffiti tonight and “avenged my dreams”.

SHG showed up. just when I thought she wouldn’t. I got her number, or “A” number I should say. I tried to call it while at the bar. she claims she didn’t get the call. Maybe I didn’t stay on the line long enough for it to connect. It’s possible. I specifically said to her “I hope this isn’t the number to Otto the Junkman that you gave me”. So we’ll see. I’ll try to call her on Sunday. If it ain’t her, or it’ s her and she disses me, then I move on. I’m just glad I “went for it” tonight.

To further complicate matters, Ivy was there, as I knew she would be. The Yenta was there too. There was a t little while there that I was talking to SHG, who was flanked by Ivy AND the Yenta.   Initially, SHG wasn’t gonna let me buy her a drink, then she relented. I think i bought her 2 or 3. Why the change of heart? Was she milking me, or sincerely enjoying my company? We shall see. Time has made me cynical. Experience has jaded me.  But she didn’t dust me.  And she had more than one opportunity to do so.  Hell, I gave her a few myself.

At one point, I was getting a round of drinks and another hottie came up beside me overheard me ordering a Jaeger Bomb, tried to get me to buy her one. (I didn’t know it at the time but Bar Hottie’s crew and our crew would cross paths later in the night) 99.9 times out of 100 I probably would have gotten Bar Hottie a drink too – even if I wasn’t interested in her – just for shits and giggles.  But Friday night, I was on a mission.

That actually spoke volumes to me.  I was starting to ask myself if I really liked SHG, or if I was just interested in her because she was the first woman I really talked to at the first happy hour.  I wondered if she was just a rebound.  As far as I was concerned, there was only one woman in the bar last night.  and the STBX has never seemed so far in my past.

I might have bought Ivy a drink or two – I definitely remember her getting one of her own.  I know I bought one for the The Yenta, but I was blowing her off even as I got it – almost in a “don’t interrupt me, I’m working here” way.

Steeler was another problem.  We rode to the bar with him and his roommate – the plan being that we would take a cab back to his house for the night and go back for Steeler’s car in the morning.  (Here’s where details get a little fuzzy as I was coming down from Samurai-mode and things happened very quickly)  As I understand it, Steeler’s younger brother showed up with his girlfriend and some of her even younger friends. (Mind you, Steeler is about 15-20 years older than his brother).  To make a long story short, Steeler’s brother and girlfriend decided to go home early; leaving Steeler with the girlfriend’s friends (including Bar Hottie) and makes arrangements for The Yenta to drive us home.  While this plan is taking shape, The Yenta is in the bathroom for a good 15 minutes – presumably hurling.  I had had at least 3 people tell me that the Yenta was drunk, which even I had already picked up on.

Phred was pissed. I was only somewhat annoyed.  Of course, I was so gaga over the night’s events that someone could have dropped a kitchen sink on my head and I would not have cared.  That, and things happened so quickly that I almost couldn’t keep up.  So Phred and I rode with The Yenta over to Steeler’s house; got Sis’s car and went home.  For the next hour, both Steeler and the Yenta texted me: Steeler apologizing; the Yenta trying to explain away his actions.

Phred was livid.  She’s done with Steeler.  I may have seen more angry than she was last night – maybe – 5 times in my life.  his biggest problem is that he have his cake and eat it too.  He and Phred are (were) friends.  It seems to be a decision they both agreed to a long time ago.  But whenever there’s a guy that Phred is interested in that he knows, Steeler tries to steer her away from him.  I’d also  assume that he probably says stuff to said guy as well.   It’s one thing to look out for your friend “don’t go out with him.  He’s bad news” but to discourage Phred from dating EVERY guy he knows?  It’s as if he doesn’t want to see her with anybody.

I’m starting to think he does the same thing to me.  Ivy has made it pretty clear that she likes me.  I picked up on it.  Phred told me that Ivy confided this in her.  Now, Steeler claims that Ivy told him at work  (they work together) that she likes me as well.  Recently, Steeler told me that that he thinks the Yenta likes me too.  I don’t buy it in the slightest.  I’ve never gotten that vibe from the Yenta, unless she is the greatest to ever play the game and hides her feelings THAT damn well.  Even so, I don’t trust her, but that’s another story for another entry.  Anyway, he’s been encouraging me to go after Ivy, saying “she’s the type of woman that I’d want to marry.”  Of course, he’s not going after her himself.

And then, as SHG and her friend are getting ready to leave, Steeler starts talking to her for a good 10-15 minutes.  There’s technically nothing going on between SHG and I yet and Steeler did introduce me to her to me as chronicled here.   But it felt weird, especially now, as I reflect on his actions over the last few months.

He hasn’t mentioned talking to SHG – maybe he still will – but I’m already speculating about that.  I know I’ve told him that i was interested in her before – unless he truly doesn’t remember, which I doubt.  I just want to know what they talked about.  did SHG ask about me?  If so, did Steeler try to warn her off of me?  I know we all split up at the bar, but he HAD to have seen that I was talking to her.  I pretty much monopolized her the entire night.

Double shot

Once again, I have managed to go out twice in the same weekend.

Friday night was the social club‘s happy hour.  SHG was there; Red was not which made for some pretty good conversation fodder. We talked a couple times, but she had 2 guys hovering over her the entire night.  Phred recommend I let it go; citing that one the guys was “nice”.   I did for the most part.  The other two guys were a major detractor for me.  Maybe it’s cowardice; maybe it’s arrogance, but i refuse to stand there and compete with two other guys for the attention of ANY woman. (Yes, this would have also been true of the STBX had any other guys been into her the day we met.)  I will not be anyone’s Mr. Maybe.  I am going to be Mr. Right, or at least Mr. Right Now.

We usually leave Rochester a little early and get some drinks closer to home.  Friday night was no exception. Before I left, I asked SHG if i could call or Facebook her.   She said sure, so I sent a friend request the next day.  I haven’t gotten a response yet.
Maybe she’s playing the game. Or maybe she’s not interested.  In any case, I gotta move on. The next time, I’ll ask for a number and take my chances.

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when it rains…

I just got in from going out for the second time in as many nights this weekend.

Thanks to one of my ubiquitous, clandestine informants, it has come to my attention that one of sis’s friends from the social club, whom I shall refer to as “Ivy” admitted to liking me after imbibing in several alcoholic beverages on NYE. Truth be told, I’m kinda surprised I haven’t mentioned her before.  She’s one of the first people I met in the Social Club; having hung out with her at the Kenny Chesney pre-show tailgate shindig.  Ivy & I were pilgrims in an unholy land that day:  two alternative die-hards in an ocean of country folk.

She’s a cool girl and all, but I don’t really see a lot there besides a common taste in music. To be honest, I’m not really attracted to her at all- physically anyway.  She’s definitely one of those people I would have to get to know and then become attracted to, if you get my meaning.   Looking back on NYE, I could see how I may have been putting out “the vibe” to her; at one particular point when we were dancing. Not slow dancing, mind you, kinda fast, which may have been even worse than slow dancing.   Having this info in-hand made for a very awkward goodbye Saturday night. I sensed it from her and I certainly felt it myself.

Saturday night / Sunday morning, in one of those informal debriefings that take place on the way home from the bar , Sis tells me that she thinks that another one of her friends (an alias is forthcoming) seemed interested in me. Now, this one, I quickly refuted, inking that she AIF was just being drunk, friendly and maybe a little flirty. Who knows?  One of my great weaknesses is that it’s always been hard for me to pick up on a woman’s sometimes all-too-subtle hints. I’m pretty slow to pick up on those kinds of things, so who’s to say for sure?

To the fellas: In general, do you think  most women are too subtle when dropping hints at their feelings toward a guy?

Here i am, with definitely one, possibly two women thinking about me and yet i’m still pining after Red & SHG. I’m hoping they show up at Happy Hour this Friday; if for nothing else, than to finally put up or shut up with them.

Friday night while in Berkley, I experienced what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity: I realized that I have to just go after what I want. No more dilly-dallying or trying to be cool. Much of my success during my Samurai Days was a result of simply going after who or what I wanted. Sure, I would get shot down quite a but but the successes only helped to increase my confidence.  Right now, I can use all the confidence I can get.

Something new and something old

My parents had a pretty cool idea for Black Friday 2012.  They had earned enough “comp points” at Motor City Casino to get dinner for 4 on-the-house.  So Sis and I accompanied them to the casino this afternoon.  In addition, we were looking forward to going today as the Casino was randomly giving away prizes to Club members (regular players).

A LITTLE BACKGROUND:    I generally don’t like to gamble; not out of some moral conflict, I simply get no joy from it.  I’ve never been good at gambling and it’s never been something I could afford to try to learn through trial and error. Before Friday, the most I ever spent at a casino was $40, and that was only because I was trashed.  

Today,  I spent about $50 before I stopped myself.  It was only marginally more fun than the time I dropped $40 at Windsor. even as I was going through the motions, I realized that I would much rather spend that money on alcohol or even in a strip club.

All in all, it was fun; and different, in keeping with my desire to try new things.

After dinner Friday evening, I got together with “The Reverend” one of my good college friends.  Although we’ve managed to keep in touch, I haven’t seen the Reverend in at least a year or so.  I met his wife for the first time tonight and we were able to get caught up on recent events.  Inevitably, my end of the conversation turned to recent events with the STBX.

As the night drew to a close, I couldn’t help but think about how our fortunes with the opposite sex have changed recently.  The Reverend has had a few girlfriends, but nobody very serious.  The STBX and I were married for 11 1/2 years, and and together for 16 1/2.  Jesus, was it really that long?  Today, he’s married and I’m easing back into bachelorhood.  I truly am happy for him; but it just reminded me how much and how quickly things have changed in my life.

Saturday will be my first ever Pub Crawl.  As I understand, the drinking at these things can get pretty intense.  I’m just hoping it’s fun.  Some of the people from the Social Club should be there.  We shall see…

another happy hour…or four…

The social club  had another happy hour tonight – they seem to do one per month. this was was in a different town, so I didn’t expect the same crowd, per Sis’s words.

The bar we went to had a live band called, i kid you not, Free Beer. They were a really good cover band. I won a free drink from them for answering a trivia question., but I gave it to Phred, because, let’s face it, it’s the least I could do for her.

I gotta admit, before going out tonight,  in the back of my mind, I hoped I would see Red and SHG there. But realistically, I figured this area was a little bit out of their zone of comfort. I kinda assumed they would stick to Royal Oak,  sure they were at Boo Bash, but I was trying to not get my hopes up.

To make a long story short, they were there. I saw them, after Free Beer finished their first set. I made eye contact and they came over. This did a lot to fuel my self-esteem. I didn’t even talk to them after that. I figured I’d play it cool. Phred was there to remind me that THEY approached ME. They made they point of talking to ME. Will anything ever come out of this? I don’t know. But it’s nice to be “out there playing the game” again. Especially on a night when I didn’t plan on.

You ever notice how these things tend to happen when and where you least expect them?

Game on…

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