Twelve years ago, I shared a link to an article about the “only” reason to get married and called it “a good read.” To be honest? I don’t think I actually read it back then. Rereading it in 2026, through the lens of everything I’ve learned since, I have a very different take on “capturing lightning in a bottle.”
The Original Post (April 7, 2014):
Rob Reads: A Dad’s Letter to His Son About the Only Good Reason to Get Married | Kelly M. Flanagan.
A good one. I originally planned to share this one a few weeks ago.
The 2026 Refresh: Lightning in a Bottle
Dr. Flanagan’s article hits on a beautiful, aspirational theory: that marriage is the place where you should be willing to completely dismantle the proverbial brick wall of your ego and open your heart to another person.
I sincerely believe in that idea—in theory. Unfortunately, my experience has taught me that the vast majority of people are not ready for that level of exposure. In my relationships with both X1 and X2, neither was truly ready to take down their own walls, and they certainly weren’t prepared to accept me with my own walls disassembled.
As I’ve written here before, most people claim they want vulnerability, but when a man actually opens himself up, that map of his heart is often used against him later. It’s happened to me, and it’s happened to countless others.
I’m not saying love isn’t real or that healthy marriages don’t exist. But I’ve realized they are akin to capturing lightning in a bottle. It is some of the best advice a father can give a son, but it comes with a heavy caveat: make sure the person you are opening the gate for is actually prepared to walk through it with grace.
Today, I find more peace in my “Option C”—choosing myself—than in the theory of a “perfect” union.
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The article “The Only Good Reason to Get Married (12 Years Later)” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.
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