Some Kind of Monster – Part 2

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A gritty, cinematic photograph of a crowded, dimly lit bar counter. In the foreground, a single green shot glass sits on top of a crumpled dollar bill and paper receipts on a wet wooden bar top. In the blurred background, a man stands looking down at his wallet in confusion, surrounded by moving patrons under hazy red and overhead lights, with a neon sign softly glowing in the distance.

Act II: The Set-Up

An Evergreen Refresh Note from Rob (2026): This is Part 2 of a raw three-part series originally written in 2013, documenting a night where my coping mechanisms completely failed me. In this section of the story, the timeline begins to splinter. Reading this back now, I can see the classic, terrifying signs of a fragmentary blackout—the moments where the brain simply stops recording. It’s a painful look back, but a necessary reminder of the missing time I used to chase, and the clarity I fight to keep today.


The following is a re-telling of an event that occurred on the night of Saturday, June 8th into the morning of Sunday, June 9th, 2013. It is on a very short list of the most shameful experiences of my life. It has taken me literally two weeks to process everything that occurred, get multiple perspectives on the chain of events, mend the most essential fences, and finally have the nerve to re-live it. I chose to write this now because I realize that this blog may one day burn some bridges with its brutal honesty; and I want to show future readers that I am just as willing to hold myself to the same proverbial fires.

Many of the details that follow from the bar I received second or third-hand. There are some things I do recall; I assume they occurred during my brief moments of clarity. To paraphrase Prince: I was drunk when I lived this. Forgive me as I went astray.

I remember all of us getting a round of drinks and me toasting The Auteur a “Happy Birthday.” A little later—although it may have been during the same round—I remember one of The Auteur’s friends, whom I shall code-name “The Set-Up,” wanting a Jäger but not having any cash. I apparently offered to buy her one—not really thinking anything of it—just extending an olive branch to one of The Auteur’s friends. Apparently, right around the same time that I was offering to buy The Set-Up a drink, our waitress was coming around to collect on our round. The waitress was giving me an opportunity to pay for The Auteur’s drink, but I was too messed up to pick up on it until about the second or third time she said so. The waitress took my money and gave The Auteur back hers as well.

After this point, I didn’t even know what happened to all the money I had on me. Granted I was only carrying $40 or so, but STILL. I had no recollection of who, where, or what I spent my money on. I’m starting to wonder if I didn’t give the waitress mentioned above an extra $20 by accident. Something similar to this happened to me one night when I went out with a few friends from the Social Club; only that time I didn’t think much of it.

Throughout our evening at the bar, I made several trips to the bathroom. This is not all that uncommon as I will typically visit a restroom at the slightest inclination my body has to urinate—drunk or sober—that’s how my body functions. Seeing how this was a bar and I had clearly had too much to drink already, one might assume that I was going to the bathroom to vomit. This was not the case. I think that I experienced a few blackouts while I was in the bathroom. I didn’t throw up and I didn’t pass out. And yet, this was a case of something far more than just losing track of time. An article on Wikipedia refers to this experience as a fragmentary blackout or a brownout. Once again, it was only after I discussed the night with The Auteur that I realized what had happened. Even now, over two weeks later, I have only vague recollections of standing at a bathroom stall for an excessive period of time. If my stomach, liver, or kidneys had refused to take part in this alcoholic decathlon I was subjecting them to, it might have been an easier night for me. Instead, it was as if the booze had gone straight to my brain, literally.

Next Up: Click here for Some Kind of Monster – Part 3, where the missing pieces of the night are filled in, and the true cost of the blackout comes to light.

Click HERE to read part one of this story.


Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Whether I’m closing in on 1,000 consecutive days of blogging or reflecting on the decade of work that brought me here, the mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.

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The article “Some Kind of Monster – Part 2” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.

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One response to “Some Kind of Monster – Part 2”

  1. […] Up: Click here for Some Kind of Monster – Part 2, where the night takes a turn and the illusions begin to […]

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