Out of the frying pan…

brain-2

This is your brain on divorce

This is the first of rather unusual two-part entry…

With some prodding from my mom, I called Jabba today to inform her that I won’t be picking up The Kid for Thanksgiving.  I have been avoiding this conversation and I definitely didn’t want to do it this weekend, as I knew I’d be home alone with The Auteur shooting a movie this weekend.    It went surprisingly well; as it was both the longest and most civilized conversation we have had since before I left South Carolina.

Now bear in mind that I’m taking all of the information that follows with a grain of salt, as I am absolutely convinced that Jabba is a sociopath.

  • I told her about Thanksgiving, expecting her to go bat-shit crazy. Not only was she okay with it, but she even suggested that The Kid spends his entire Christmas break with me.  She said that it was important in that Christmas is the only time The Kid gets to see my extended family.  This was an interesting curve ball.
  • She still claims that her lawyer has sent the divorce papers on to my lawyer, and that he is apparently holding up the entire process.  This may or may not be true.  I have expressed some frustrations with the speed at which Greenie has handled things thus far.  My question remains:  what would he possibly have to gain from dragging things out?
  • Furthermore, Jabba claims that her lawyer has been in contact with the judge in regards to our divorce proceedings – and yet,  there has been no movement.
  • Jabba claims that the insurance company stopped coverage on me effective July 1, 2013 (which they did) but that she is still seeing the deductions on her paycheck – even though i’m not longer covered, mind you – because we are not yet divorced.
  • She knows about The Auteur and 1B,
  • She speculated, admittedly,  that The Kid feels that I love The Auteur and 1B more than him and I have “replaced him” with them. He had definitely, in the past at least, felt this way in the past as he and I have had discussions about it.
  • She seemed almost apologetic about “playing hardball” with me, i.e: using visitation with The Kid as a negotiating tactic.  I warned her that should she continue to do that, I will go through the lawyers to stop it.
  • I told her that if I find out she’s bullshitting me about any of this, I will be upset.
  • I informed her that she needs her to inform me when she and The Kid  leave South Carolina and that I would put that into our settlement should she fail to cooperate with me.

All in all it was an intense, yet civil, conversation.  Could this be the start of the next step in my relationship with Jabba?  I’m very skeptical about it ; but the conversation was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.  I find myself emotionally drained in the aftermath of it.  A LOT of things were said by both of us.  Things that we’ve both needed to get off of our chests for a while.

I don’t want to be hostile with her.  I really don’t.  The two of us have to find a way get along  well enough to co-parent The Kid.  That’s all I want out of all of this.  We may have finally taken a big step toward that finally happening.

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