Bill: So-cratz – “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing”.
Ted: That’s us, dude.
– from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
I’ve decided to shift gears a little bit with this blog. I have been noticing a trend developing here for a while, and it took my favorite WordPress “follower” to confirm it for me: This blog is far too much about “rehashing Rob” and not nearly enough “Rebuilding Rob”. That changes now. Besides, I have things fermenting in the legal arena in regards to Jabba and The Kid that I don’t want to even begin to discuss here. Instead, I’m going to write today about something that has been stuck in my craw for quite a while:
I don’t know the first thing about being a step-dad.
As i said, I’ve wanted to write about this for a while; but the other day, I took 1B to a doctor’s appointment. The doctor came out to the waiting room and addressed me as “1b’s step-dad?” I have no problem with her referring to me as her step-dad already. In fact, I’m flattered and honored. My big problem – as it is in so many other aspects in my life is my penchant for erring on the side of caution.
I don’t want to step on other people’s toes. I don’t want to put off, offend or unnerve anyone – sometimes to a fault. Sometimes, I err so far on the side of caution that I end up coming across as distant or aloof. Here’s a completely random example – and no, this is not me bitching about a particular incident – sometimes I’ll try so hard to give The Auteur and 1B some alone time that I end up removing myself from a conversation; or physically removing myself from a room – and then I come across to them as upset or angry when I’m far from it.
People like to say “there’s no instruction book that comes with being a parent”. This is absolutely true and for the most part, you don’t really need one. As a parent, you’re pretty much able to make up the rules and routines as you go. As a step-parent or a step-patent-to-be, you’re entering into someone else’s relationship and you don’t have the luxury of making things up as you go. As a step-parent, you are the foreign element being introduced. You are expected to conform to the rules and routines that are already established in the family. There are certain tasks, duties, responsibilities you are expected to perform; and others that are considered way out of line for you to address. It is a proverbial tightrope that is walked by the step-parent.