this is forty

Yesterday  was my fortieth birthday.  More on that later…

I went on Facebook early this morning and saw a post from an old friend from elementary school.  He moved from Michigan to California almost thirty years ago.   We were Cub Scouts together.  We entered junior high together.  At the time he moved, he was probably my best friend. We fell out of touch as friends do, especially at that age, but ran into each other on Facebook.  He doesn’t post on Facebook very often, so was surprised to see a post from him today.

It turn out that my friend lost his daughter in a car accident yesterday. As if that’s not enough to deal with, his son is fighting for his life as well.    As is always the case, such news makes me think about my mortality and The Kid as well.

I don’t care what people say about “God works in mysterious ways”.  Parents are not supposed to bury their children, period.  That is simply not the way the universe is designed to function.  As a parent, I can tell you that the death of  The Kid would be the absolute worst nightmare I would ever have to endure.  I hope that this goes for all parents as well.

this whole thing got me thinking, not so much about losing  The Kid, but it got me to asking myself:

Am I doing everything I can for The Kid?  If I were to lose him tomorrow (God forbid) could I live with myself knowing that I did everything I could for him?

Right now, I don’t know that I could.  To be honest, I wish I was doing more for him.  We had a Face Time chat yesterday.  It was the first time I’ve seen him face-to-face since he was visiting for Christmas.  I’ve missed him terribly and I was glad to see him.  It was probably a more efficient (for the lack of a better term) conversation than what we’ve had in a long time.  I had his attention the entire time and we were interacting throughout.

The Auteur and I are looking at relocating for the fall.  I’m hoping to move closer to the Kid.  If I do that, I’m hoping to get to spend more time with him.

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