Last night, The Auteur and I went to a surprise birthday party for my oldest longest-tenured friend in this world:  I’ll call him The Apostle.  I call him this not to be blasphemous or sarcastic, but because he has stronger religious convictions than anyone I’ve ever known.  I’ve known The Apostle since kindergarten.  We went to elementary, junior high and high school together.  We discovered girls together.  He was the best man at my wedding.

In an interesting aside, he met Jabba during his “born-again” phase.  When he learned about her religious beliefs, he told her to her face that everything he had ever heard had told him that she would go to Hell.

The Apostle’s wife, with some help from his sister and brother-in-law, put together a phenomenal birthday event.  It was at a banquet hall that was better suited to a wedding reception.  They had a few of his close friends give speeches about him and put together a video including greetings from some of his long-distance friends.  One of the speakers brought up a quote that he credited to the Apostle – though I have seen it used by others on the web:

Crave your future.

One of the things I really took from last night – and the birthday video in particular – was that The Apostle has truly made an impact on the lives of his family, friends and loved ones.  That famous Jackie Robinson quote ran through my head as I heard person after person sing the praises of The Apostle: “A life is not important except for the impact it has on other lives”.

Watching that video and processing all this information, I’m forced to wonder: what impact have I really made on the lives of others?  I know that it often takes time for a person to rebuild their life after a divorce.  Hell it has taken my brother and sister years to get themselves back to where they are now, but it’s more than that.  I need to be more involved – maybe even more active in my community.  I want to be more well-rounded.  I’m not saying that I want to be involved in a church like he is; I just want to feel like I make a difference in peoples’ lives.

I crave my future.  I obsess over it.  Sometimes I think so much about it, I don’t do enough to actually work toward it.  Everything I want is within my grasp:  my career, the woman of my dreams, my son, the future life that I’ve sought for the last two years – it’s all mine for the taking.  I just have to do it.

It’s funny, because The Apostle and I were SO very competitive growing up.  We used to push each other.  A lot.  At various times throughout our lives, I think we envied each other.  I haven’t seen the guy in 2 years – since our 20 year reunion – and  he’s pushing me once again.