Rebuilding Rob

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Know when to walk away

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You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run

Kenny Rogers “The Gambler”

That’s some good advice; and I think not abiding by it has been my Achilles’ heel when it come to relationships. It takes me too long to figure out that I have to walk away. I think that’s why most of my break-ups have been less-than-civil.

Earlier this week, I started talking again with a woman who i met on one of the dating apps a few years back. In the past, we never got past the texting phase. Our paths crossed recently on one of the apps and we have made plans to actually meet up. No strings. No expectations.

We were originally going to meet up Thursday night for a drink. She had to reschedule because she is going to have her son that night.

That’s cool. Maybe sometime next week? I didn’t want to come off as desperate or clingy, so I left the proverbial ball in her court.

“Maybe I can reschedule my appointment earlier in the day and we can meet up Wednesday” (lone day earlier that originally planned ) she replied.

I didn’t hear back from her and I wasn’t going to push the matter. When dinner time came and passed with no word from her, I assumed that she wasn’t able to change her appointment.

Finally she writes me back at 8:45 say “Total transparency. I changed my appointment but I never solidified plans. That speaks volumes to me, holistically”

No shit? Ya think?

Ok. Let me know if you still want to meet up sometime

“I suppose I’m not sure we need to..”

Okay. Good luck to you. I meant it too. I sincerely wish her luck. She’s going to need it.

I’m not sure why I was expecting something different this time. Maybe it w the whole “no strings, no commitment” thing we agreed to. Lately I’ve come to a realization: it’s not an accident that some of the people who are on dating apps have to resort to said apps FOR A REASON.

I refuse to get on the merry-go-round with this one again. Have you noticed that I didn’t even give her an alias?

Still it’s depressing. Things with PTA are also dying on the vine as we speak. My only dating app subscription ended last night. I think I’m going to stay off of them for a while.

Things were going pretty well for me before my most recent dip back into the dating pool. I had really reached that point where, as people say, I was happy being by myself. I need to not only get back to that point, but also bask in it for a bit this time.

16 responses to “Know when to walk away”

  1. Cari Avatar
    Cari

    In my book, “good luck to you” equates to GFY. 😂 Rightfully so. If she can’t even be respectful enough to reply, she isn’t worth the time. I think you dodged a bullet with this one, my friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Darcy Branwyn Avatar
    Darcy Branwyn

    Um…. she’s not worth the time.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      Nope. And it’s better that
      I find that out now instead of weeks, months, or years down the road.

      Like

      Reply
      1. Darcy Branwyn Avatar
        Darcy Branwyn

        And money, lets face it. Women aren’t cheap.🤪

        Liked by 1 person

      2. rebuilding rob Avatar
        rebuilding rob

        Especially on a teacher’s salary!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Darcy Branwyn Avatar
        Darcy Branwyn

        You’re a teacher? Bless you! lol

        Liked by 1 person

      4. rebuilding rob Avatar
        rebuilding rob

        Thanks! I love it. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

        I mean, I’ll complain about it, but only because it love it.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Darcy Branwyn Avatar
        Darcy Branwyn

        Yeah, well, there’s always ups and downs.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. rebuilding rob Avatar
    rebuilding rob

    I need some input on this one: was I still up in this situation?

    I mean, we really didn’t have plans for the Wednesday. But she canceled her other plans, but didn’t bother to make plans with me.

    In my book, this is a passive, aggressive standup. As if she went through the effort to clear her schedule, but didn’t bother following through.

    What do you all think?

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    Reply
    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      Stood up

      Like

      Reply
    2. ren Avatar
      ren

      i’m confused by this– “Total transparency. I changed my appointment by never changed my plans. That speaks volumes to me, holistically” … should it say BUT NEVER changed my plans?

      Like

      Reply
      1. rebuilding rob Avatar
        rebuilding rob

        Sorry. That was a typo. It should have read “but I never solidified plans”

        I will update it in the initial post as well

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ren Avatar
        ren

        well, to me, that’s just rude of her!!– why even bring that up to you? totally unnecessary. now, i don’t think you were stood-up since there weren’t any concrete plans, but Rob you deserve better!! fuhgeddaboudher.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. rebuilding rob Avatar
        rebuilding rob

        Yeah, if anything, to it was a half-hearted attempt to stand me up.

        Either way, she’s history!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Lukas Weichselbaum Avatar
    Lukas Weichselbaum

    “Finally she writes me back at 8:45 say ‘Total transparency. I changed my appointment but I never solidified plans.’ That speaks volumes to me, holistically.“

    I feel you Rob. Dating apps can be VERY frustrating.

    I don’t know the specifics but if she writes you to notify you then it usually means she’s interested. If women are not interested they won’t bother to write you. Maybe she meant she FORGOT to solidify plans with you, but did make space in her schedule.

    It sounds like you’re feeling a bit wary, which I can absolutely understand especially on dating platforms.

    I’ll be honest. The only way this worked for me was to text a lot of women and just be very low-investment (that’s not my attitude in real-life at all). I would do some light back and forth, then after 4-5 messages I’d pitch the meet. In-person chemistry is a whole different thing than texting… Why spend weeks texting only to then find out you can’t stand each other.

    My girlfriend of now almost 3 years actually texted me via a dating app. You can meet some really amazing people there if you’re lucky.

    It takes a hard skin though, especially as a man.

    Much love 💚

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      Thanks for the input!

      I was thinking very much, the same thing you said: that she had cleared her schedule, but maybe FORGOT to make plans with me.

      So when I said to her “do you want to try for something next week?“ And she said “I don’t see the point“ THAT told me that she wasn’t interested.

      Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time her and I have done of this song, a dance. The last time we spoke, a few months back, she seemed as if she was almost trying to dissuade me from being interested in her, saying things like “I have a lot of stuff I’m dealing with“.

      I happen to think I’m a pretty compassionate guy, but if she wants to go out of her way to talk me out of not liking her, then maybe she’s not ready for a relationship; and I’m tired of getting jerked around.

      Like

      Reply

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