Rebuilding Rob

I stumbled across this expression the other day “shit testing“. I’ve never heard it before myself, but I’m pretty sure I’ve come across this game, or power struggle if you will, in the dating scene. Knowing my luck, I’ve probably been shit tested on multiple occasions and failed spectacularly.

Anyway, for those who don’t know, like me, shit testing is basically questions that are guided by one person to another, in order to elicit some kind of response for them. Or maybe illicit no response at all. After all, it is a test.

Here’s an example from Power Moves.com that really put shit testing into perspective for me. In this scenario, this is an exchange between a man and a woman, as it plays out in the movie Hitch:

Her: What’s your name?
Him: They call me Chip
Her: Ohh, You can’t get them to stop?

From the movie Hitch

This one is a real one-two punch, as the website explains. Here, the woman is trying to assert herself over the man. By asking him “you can’t get them to stop?“ She’s implying that he is also a pushover within his social group.

Chip, or the “him” in this scenario has to be very careful what he says next. She’s already trying to push him into an inferior, or beneath him position. The best thing Chip could do right here is to just continue on as if he didn’t even hear her remark.

After doing a deeper dive on shit testing, I stumbled across this Todd V video from YouTube

This truly is a science. You’ll notice in the video that Todd talks about not only the verbal response that people make to shit testing; he also gets into the sincerity of it, the cadence of the response. He talks to one of the audience members about the look on his face as he responds to one of his shit tests.

Also, I think it’s important to point out that it is not exclusively women who do this to men. It does seem like that is more the case today, but men have been pulling shit tests on women since the beginning of time as well.

I don’t really dig on shit testing. I guess it’s one thing if it’s just some witty banter, going back-and-forth between two people in a date/relationship setting. The idea of using a shit test system make it or break it evaluation to decide if a person is date worthy, to me, it’s just not realistic. However, many people will argue that a woman decides in the first five minutes, just how far a relationship is going to go with a man. If that is the case, passing a shit test is crucial.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about flirting, the art of seduction and a good bit of verbal and mental sparring. I’m just so sick of all the games. If somebody likes me. They should be able to tell me, or the very least show me. If I like somebody, I should be able to just tell them straight out or at least do something that would demonstrate the fact that I have feelings for them.

Why do we establish these Kobayashi Maru like traps where we’re setting people up to fail? For instance, If the guy doesn’t show enough emotion, he’s heartless. If he shows too much emotion, he’s a wuss. On the flipside, a woman is not very flirtatious, then she is approved. If she’s too flirtatious, then she is a slut. With mindset like these, we’re just setting each other up for failure

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier related posts:

• Rob’s Retro Movie Review: This is Spinal Tap (1984) – The Movie That Scaled to Eleven
• A Death in the Family (And My Disposable Income): My Life in Comics
• The Supporting Cast: Navigating the Eras of Male Friendship
• Life is What Happens: A Look Back at My Non-Existent 2025 Vision
• The Moment I Walked Inside a Hallmark Movie

The article “Rob… Shit testing” originally appeared on Rebuilding Rob