This is a very tricky one to explain. I guess the best way to describe it would be to say bittersweet. But for me, one period of my life that was hard to say goodbye to was my marriage.
Don’t get me wrong. My marriage was effectively over long before we decided to divorce. As I’ve said before, I think X one and I stay together just for kid one. I know I did anyway.
At least until one day when I’ve specifically remember having an argument with her in the bedroom, and kid walked in. He was probably about Four at this point, and he just started shouting “stop yelling! Stop yelling! Stop yelling!“ I knew in that moment that even he realized that this was not the way marriage and families were supposed to be. In a way, I think that almost made it OK for me to go through with the divorce once the time came.
No, for the record, X one was the one who said “I wanted divorce”. She’s also the one who went to see an attorney before I did, and had a separation agreement written up. She wanted me to sign in without having a attorney, look it over. I said no way.
As I’ve talked about before, far and away, the hardest part of my divorce was moving back to Michigan wow kid won was down south with X1.
I was back in Michigan for three months when I finally asked my attorney “hey, am I supposed to be receiving some divorce papers from her lawyer?” My lawyer had told me that apparently she hadn’t filed. So I went ahead and filed for the divorce.
I think in any divorce, even if it is a bad situation, even if you are relieved that it is over, I think there is a sense of failure. Again, I know there is for me anyway. I can’t deny the fact that I do feel like I failed in marriage. But at the same time, I still feel like I tried everything in my power to make my marriage work. That is the reason I can sleep at night.
I have a tendency to take too much crap from people. But when I’m ready to walk away from a situation, I am done. That’s where I was at with my marriage. When it was over, it was over.
Even still, 12 years later, there’s still a few dates on the calendar that I don’t get nostalgic about and I don’t get sad about, but I do become very much reflective. The day that her and I met, and our wedding anniversary.
For kid 1’s sake, I wish that X1 and I could’ve made it work. likewise for Kid 2. I wish that X2 and I could’ve also made it work also, but at least we didn’t make the mistake of getting married.
What is one phase in your life that was difficult to say goodbye to?
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The article “The Bittersweet End of an Era” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob
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