Rebuilding Rob

Daily writing prompt

Who do you spend the most time with?

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I have to say that I probably spend most of by time alone. I don’t say that as some kind of “woe is me, I’m lonely” kind of thing. There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely.

Over the last few years, particularly since my breakup with X2, I’ve made a conscious decision to try to become more comfortable with being alone. For so long, I thought being in a relationship and falling in love was the most important thing in the world. and while love is great, it is occurred to me that the most important thing of life is to be happy with yourself. Finding happiness yourself also means being able to be happy BY yourself. One day, without even realizing it, everything clicked for me.

Maybe it’s because I’m officially old . I’ve definitely entered my “get off my lawn” phase. but I think that’s more about losing my patience with people in general. Of course, it’s possible that I discovered how to be content with being alone simultaneously with losing my patience with people in general.

I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

This isn’t to say that I have friends. But I do think something happens once people reach a certain age, men in particular. As men, we tend to sacrifice their personal lives once we start families. We have work, partners – possibly children – and other responsibilities that just eat up our personal time. I know I’ve mentioned a lot in the past that growing up, I don’t really remember my dad having a lot of friends. He had a handful here and there, but for the most part, they were guys like him; guys who had families and other things to do. I guess this is why a lot of old guys take up golf. It just gives them a chance to socialize.

When I was in college and really started diving it into literature, I thought that Henry David Thoreau was just some kind of 19th century barefoot-hippie type, who decided to live in the woods for two years just because he was weird. But in some respects, I think Thoreau became a monk of his own religious order. I think that he sought solitude because it gave him time to think, to reflect, to make observations about life in general.

Having said that, I don’t think that we should all build cabins out in the woods and hide from humanity for an extended period of time. As much as people need to be able to be happy by themselves, people also need other people. 

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The article “Feeling Henry David Thoreau” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.