In My Rediscovery Era

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What word would you use to describe this phase of your life?

If I have to find a single word to describe this particular phrase of my life, it would be rediscovery.

I feel like I’m still in the middle of finding out exactly who I am and what it is that I want in life. This isn’t a matter of me not knowing what I enjoy or don’t enjoy anymore; I think I’ve got that pretty well figured out.

Once I’m an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, child prodigy Wesley Crusher is having a conversation with the sagely alien bartender Guinan. She explains to Wesley that whole it’s good to think about others, there are times in life where one has to be selfish. That is to say that one has to think about themselves. He needs to put their own needs ahead of those of others. I’ve reached the point in my life where I no longer feel guilty thinking about myself.

I am content; probably more than I’ve ever been in my life.

Feelings Are

Back in college, I had an educational psychology class. One thing that the professor liked to say time and again is “Feelings are”. her point at all feelings are OK. “happy, sad, excited, angry. No one feeling is more positive or negative than the others. I used to hear this I just thought it was so corny. But the older I get, the more it resonates.

I think of anything, I’m more self-aware about the things I’m thinking of feeling, and why I feel the way that I do. I’m glad to say that there’s finally a greater understanding of mental health, men’s mental health specifically, then I was even 20 years ago. I’m understanding that a lot of the things that I’m feeling in my reactions to things that happened to me and around me are very normal. More than that, I’ve come to realize why I think and feel the way that I do.

This level of self-awareness has helped me immeasurably in coming to terms with both my divorce and the end of my long-term relationship with X2.

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