The definition of Insanity

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What is a mistake you have made or a lesson you had to learn, multiple times?

There’s an old expression that says “the definition of insanity it’s doing the same thing with he will be unexpected different results”. I don’t know if I would go that far, but unfortunately, there are some mistakes that some of us make more than once four weeks there

When I hear most men recite the two pieces of advice I’m about to give, it usually just sounds like “alpha male bullshit“. It comes across this things of guys say when they are afraid of being vulnerable. But the truth is, they’re right. It’s not alpha male bullshit to say that the wrong woman will exploit your emotional vulnerabilities. More than that, she’ll use them against you. I’ve made both of these mistakes more than once in my relationships. I THINK I’m at a place in my life where I will never make these.

Don’t fall too quickly

I think we’ve all committed this mistake at least once in our lives. We learn intense “honeymoon phase“ emotions get the best of us. We think that we’re head over heels in love with a person who would probably don’t really know. We’re completely gaga over somebody with whom we have never had the opportunity to experience any of the tough times of a relationship.

My overall point here is to not get yourself too emotional invested with a partner until you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. You’re never going o know exactly how your partner will react to every possible scenario that may arise in the relationship

I think this is why my relationship with Veronica has been as successful as it has: we’re taking things slowly. Even have a crucial peace in our face. I’ve never heard from almost 9 months now and I feel like I’m still just starting to get a feel for how she in the in particular situations.

Don’t over share

One of the harshest lessons I’ve learned as a man in a romantic relationship is to not share too many of my emotions. That’s not to say to keep secrets from partner. To the point, it means to keep your emotions to yourself.

Unfortunately, I’ve been in situations where I allowed myself to get too emotional, situations where I “spilled my guts“ to my partner; only for to be used against me, somewhere down the proverbial road.

As a man, there’s no worse feeling than a relationship then his partner uses as thoughts, his own emotions or his own intense feelings, or a situation against him.

As a man, we are encouraged to be “more in touch with her feelings“ and be willing to share everything with her partner. But the moment you expressed some emotional vulnerability to your partner – or the moment that your partner throws some emotional vulnerability of yours back in your face, the relationship is over. That happened with both X one and X2.

I personally am a pretty emotionally, intense guy. In the past, I’ve had no problem, expressing my feelings and sharing that with my partners. But in both of those relationships, it was thrown back at my face in a moment of vulnerability. And from that moment, I completely shut down with both of them. I never told them anything after that. I never told them how I felt. Everything was always “I’m good“.

With X1, I could tell you the exact conversation in which it happened. However, with X2 it was a situation where I saw me feeling thrown at meantime and time again. Eventually, I woke up to it and that’s when I emotionally withdrew in that relationship as well.

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