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Rob reacts: ‘Throning’ Is a New Dating Trend, and I’m About to Rip My Hair Out

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I came across this vice article yesterday and like the author, I’m getting a little annoyed that every pattern or every action in the dating world seems to be getting its own label

The article talks about something they call “throning“. This is where somebody dates, another person strictly to boost their own ego. Obviously, there are people who do this. One could argue that the 1987 movie Can Buy Me Love starts as a throning story. While I’ve never directly dated someone for the purpose of elevating my own social status, I am guilty of having used my experience dating someone as a “throning“ type situation.

Several years back, I wrote about “Boss Lady“ who was a person I literally fantasized about in high school.It was nearly 30 years after the internal crush of a girl who I thought was completely unattainable. But finally, after high school, after college, after marriage, children, and divorce, our paths actually crossed. We dated, albeit briefly.

Dating Boss Lady certainly did boost my ego. In fact, when we stopped talking, I wasn’t really hurt by it. A little disappointed, maybe, but the truth is, we didn’t have a whole lot in common. But 15-year-old Rob – one who still lives deep in the center of my core being – didn’t care. My own, inner sexually frustrated teenager was in his glory.

It’s not fair for me to say that I went into dating a boss lady, strictly to boost my own ego. I still find her very attractive, and it was a question that had been burning at me for decades: what if? I dated her because she seemed cool and I wanted to give it a go. But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that The experience was giving me perhaps the biggest ego boost of my life.

Looking back, I feel kind of bad about the whole situation. OK, not the whole situation; but I feel like in my own way. I did almost kind of use boss lady. It wasn’t my intention at all. Even when I was seeing her. I wasn’t thinking about exploiting the situation. If anything, I felt like the bank robber in Dirty Harry, who says “I gots to know“.

I guess the most realistic and most critical thing I can say about the experience of dating boss lady was that I didn’t go into the situation with bad intentions. But when it was over, I used the experience to boost my own ego. I know that’s not what the story is really talking about. But it’s the closest thing I’ve ever done to throning.

I did have to know. I had to go out with her, and “play the tape all the way through“ as Lomax likes to tell me. I had to find out. I had to find out if a middle-age, more self-actualized version of Rob was compatible with this woman whom I had put on a pedestal back when we were teenagers. 

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The article: “Rob reacts: ‘Throning’ Is a New Dating Trend, and I’m About to Rip My Hair Out” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.

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