Another day, another one of these labels for a dating tactic. At this time, this vice article is about something called “flood lighting. And once again, I think this is something that we’ve all either done or fallen victim to it at least once in our lives, whether we realize it or not.
Floodlighting, as the article explains as the idea of “trauma dumping“ on a date. Sometimes it’s a tactic to see how much they can handle. Sometimes it’s a tactic to try to open up and fast-forward intimacy with the other person. I have to agree. It is a very manipulative way to fast-forward intimacy. 
I’ve had this happen to me a couple of times. I think that X1 did it when we first started dating. She was kind of taking on the whole quote. You don’t wanna get mixed up with a girl like me. I’m broken” kind of thing. Yes, she’s been through some crap. Certainly more than I’d ever gone through at that point in my life. But at the same time, it made me think that she was actually trying to push me away from her in the beginning. And maybe she was. Maybe she knew.
But, on the other hand, maybe she was trying to immediately build up a sense of trust very early on the relationship. Almost as if to say “I’m trusting you with some very intense information. You trust me too, right?“
However, I also think it’s important to differentiate between flood, lighting, and being a person who simply needs to vent or get things off of their chest. During one of my break ups with X2, I dated a woman, once. We remain friends on Facebook for sometime. But the problem on the date was that I could tell she was still clearly not over her ex-husband. She talked about him a lot. Not him personally, but just the whole divorce situation – a situation to which I can obviously sympathize. But there’s a very thin line between talking about a situation. You are currently dealing with and simply harping on the subject. Something about that date told me that that woman was not ready to be in a relationship yet. Maybe I’m dead wrong, but that’s what my gut told me; and over the years I’ve learned to trust my gut.
But then, sometimes I wonder if this is just how people are wired. Or if this is a product of the world we live in. As much as we talk about talking to people and sharing our feelings and sharing our experiences, most of us are still very cut off from other humans, and I’m not just talking about the way that social media has isolated that’s probably more than it has actually brought us together.
Most of us are told to suck it up and be tough. We’re told that the world doesn’t really want to hear about our problems. And I think that some of us are just starving for that human interaction; sympathetic ear to listen and tell us that everything is going to be OK. 
With that in mind, I think the floodlighting is more of a proverbial Hail Mary; a desperate attempt to reach out for sympathy, rather than a manipulative tactic. As human beings. We just desperately want to be heard. Hell, isn’t that why most of us blog?
Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related posts:
- Rob’s Retro Movie Review: This is Spinal Tap (1984) – The Movie That Scaled to Eleven
- A Death in the Family (And My Disposable Income): My Life in Comics
- The Supporting Cast: Navigating the Eras of Male Friendship
- Life is What Happens: A Look Back at My Non-Existent 2025 Vision
- The Moment I Walked Inside a Hallmark Movie
The article: “Rob reacts: flooding is the new toxic dating trend“ first appeared on Rebuilding Rob
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