Relationships, like rivers, flow in only one direction

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As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

Do you think ex-partners can successfully get back together after a break-up?

in most things in my life, I like to say “never say never“. Some people may say that’s being optimistic. Some people may even go as far as to call that “aspirational“. For the most part, I believe that one should “never say never“

Except when it comes to relationships.

Without a doubt, there are people who split up, and get back together, and stay together for the rest of their lives. Evidently my grandparents, The Old Man’s parents, got divorced when my father was a kid. They not only got back together, but they actually remarried. Then, they stayed together for the rest of their lives.

No, I’m not using my grandparents as some sterling example of the perfect relationship,or even a great relationship. It may have been horrible for all I really know. But I can at least attest that people do get back together  sometimes.

However, my experiences have brought me to the realization that when a couple breaks-up, the odds on getting back together and making it for the rest of their lives are highly unlikely. The truth is, when a couple breaks up, it’s usually for a reason. There’s usually something that one of them has done or some kind of character flaw that the other decides beyond saving the relationship

God knows that X2 and I tried. We had broken up a few times, only to get back together again. And, as I’ve been known to say over the years, the last time we got back together we stuck it out just long enough to remember why we had broken up in the first place. Again, we probably could’ve saved ourselves some trouble if we had just decided when we broke up to just go our separate ways.

The truth is, as adults, most of us don’t really change much over the course of our lives. We are who we are. It’s true that sometimes people go through some remarkable transformation in our life, most of us stay true to who we are as people. I say this to say that people don’t really change. And if something is going wrong in a relationship, the chances are it will go wrong.

As the title of this post suggests, I believe that relationships are not unlike a river. The current flows in one direction. As much as some people may try, you can never start over, and you can never go back to how things used to be.

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The article “Relationships, like rivers, flow in only one direction” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.

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