Rebuilding Rob

I had a counseling appointment with Lomax on Monday. I spent most of the time talking about my weekend trip to visit Kid 1 in Wisconsin. I was also talking to her a little bit about the fact that, as I mentioned in a previous post, that only do I feel like I don’t have anything I am “almost there” with goal-wise, but I also feel like I don’t really have any goals I’m actually working toward at the moment.

Lomax said maybe that that was a good thing. I’ve been on edge for so long, dealing with so many different things, reconciling so many things from past that maybe some peaceful time and comfort is OK.

As I was leaving my appointment, Lomax asked me if I want to make my regular appointment in two weeks or if I want to “let it fly“ I told her to pencil me in for two weeks from now. However, if I’m feeling good, I’ll cancel

This wouldn’t be the first time I’ve cancelled a counseling appointment. I wouldn’t even the first time where I’ve stopped seeing a counselor. It’s not like I’ve been seeing someone religiously for the last 15 years. However something felt different leaving my appointment yesterday. I think I’m ready to move on without the safety net of counseling. I’m not suggesting I would never seen a counselor again. But indeed like I’m at something if stent point in my life right now.

For the most part, I’m relatively happy. Yes, of course, things could be better; but they could be considerably worse. In fact, I think if somebody ever says they’re “completely happy” then they’re either lying or something is going on that they no nothing about.

Things are going well with Veronica. The boys are doing pretty well, relatively speaking. I’m not waging any more wars with X one. That hasn’t been the case for years. Things are relatively calm with X2 as well. We have our occasional disagreements , but it’s not like things are knock-down, drag out between her and I. I feel like things have cooled with and X1 and X2 as the boys have gotten older.

I think that’s why, ever since I wrote that one blog, I’ve been thinking about goals. I don’t really have any right now. More than that, I can’t even think of anything that I want to be working towards. I’m happy to have some peace in my life right now. It’s been a long time coming. Aristotle once said (and Spock quoted him in Star Trek VI) nature abhors a vacuum. New goals and new challenges will present themselves in due time.

Meanwhile…

As I write this on Monday afternoon, I’m exhausted. I didn’t get in from Madison until about 12:30 this morning. I didn’t fall asleep for another hour after that, just trying to come down and relax from being on the road and such. I’m trying not to complain too much about it today to people because I have fully come to terms with the fact that people don’t really care when men are in pain, tired or stressed out.

And I’m not even saying that in a whiny kind of way. It’s just a fact. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe I’m just starting to come to terms with certain things in life I suppose. But I can’t remember being as tired as I was on Monday; at least not for a long time. Some people surprised that I went to work today. About halfway through the day, I was too.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related (and perhaps, not-so-related) posts:

• Rob’s Retro Movie Review: This is Spinal Tap (1984) – The Movie That Scaled to Eleven
• A Death in the Family (And My Disposable Income): My Life in Comics
• The Supporting Cast: Navigating the Eras of Male Friendship
• Life is What Happens: A Look Back at My Non-Existent 2025 Vision
• The Moment I Walked Inside a Hallmark Movie

The article “Time for me to fly” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.