The Vast Difference Between Being Lonely and Being Alone

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

What do you like and dislike about living alone?

What do I like and dislike about living alone? I don’t live “alone,” per se. My sister, Phred, and I share a house. We leave each other alone for the most part—she has her section, and I have mine. We do interact, however. After all, we are still brother and sister.

Maybe in some sense, it’s better that way. It’s not like getting into an argument with your typical roommates. Phred and I grew up clashing—we annoyed the crap out of each other during our formative years. As I said to her on multiple occasions, “I think either one of us could do a lot worse for a roommate.”

The Upside: Freedom

I’ve written a lot on this blog about how for many years I felt like being in a relationship defined my happiness. I’ve talked equally as much on here about how the last few years have taught me how to enjoy being single. More than that, the last few years have taught me the vast difference between being lonely and being alone.

The best part about living on my own—or at least being single—is being able to do what I want, for the most part. That sounds very selfish, but for somebody who lived much of his life being a people-pleaser, that has been a very difficult skill to master.

What do I want to eat for dinner tonight? That’s up to me. What do I want to watch on TV? That’s up to me. Do I want to stay up late or go to bed early? I get to decide that, too. Am I going to clean the house today, or am I going to wait one more day? Again, I have the final, and only, say on that.

I’ve seen a lot of social media clips lately that talk about how the strongest people in the world are the ones who can go into a restaurant and eat by themselves. People who can do that are not afraid of being alone. I’m happy to say that after many years, not only am I not afraid of being alone, I actually enjoy it for the most part.

The Downside: The Kid Hangover

As much as I love my “grown-up time,” I love my time with my kids even more. When I’m with Kid 1 and/or Kid 2, it is us 24/7. Ever since X2 and I split up, every person I’ve dated has heard my mantra: “My kid time is my kids’ time.”

Of course, since I’m not married, my traditional parenting time is limited. Parents who share visitation or custody with another parent know what I’m talking about. I wrote previously about the kid hangover HERE. As of Friday, Kid 2 is with me for the weekend. Per usual, he’ll go back to his mom later this evening (Sunday) in an arrangement that my attorney—whom I’ll refer to as Bruce—described as “the shitty dad visitation.” Once again, that’s not to say that either I or my attorney think I’m a shitty dad. He just means that whether you’re Father of the Year or a narcissistic jerk, dads are usually going to get every other weekend and alternating holidays with their children.

The kid hangover refers to that time on Sunday evening, after parents have completed “the exchange.” I come home on Sunday evenings and the house is noticeably quieter. Sometimes I leave a few things out, just to feel like he’s still around. Sure, it annoys the crap out of me that he doesn’t clean up after himself as much as I wish he would, but seeing his toys/things/clothes strewn about the house makes me feel like he’s still there.

So, what do I like and dislike about this semi-alone life? I like the quiet freedom and the ability to decide everything for myself. Ultimately, the freedom I’ve found in being alone is not something I’d trade. But it also teaches me the importance of what I occasionally miss: the chaos, the noise, the reminder that another life is sharing this space. The silence on Sunday night is the cost of my freedom, and the beautiful mess of my kids is what keeps that freedom in check. The most difficult part of being truly alone is recognizing what’s missing—and that’s a mess I’ll always welcome back. I’ve learned to enjoy being alone, but I’ll never stop looking forward to those weekends when I can’t be.

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related (and perhaps, not-so-related) posts:

AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “The Vast Difference Between Being Lonely and Being Alone” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob

Designed with WordPress