I have to give “double props” to Eric Fulton for this writing prompt. After all, this post here makes two that I got out of a single prompt! If you haven’t had a look at Eric Fulton’s blog. yet, check it out!
NOTE: This is the second half of my deep dive into Friends. If you missed Part 1, where I break down the artifice and the “platonic myth,” you can catch up here.
Now, here is part two of…
What’s something everyone else seems to love that you genuinely do not understand?
I’ve spent a lot of time identifying the “bullshit” of the Friends aesthetic, but the real friction is deeper than just a laugh track or a lack of diversity. It’s about the “breadcrumbs” of a lifestyle we were told to want—and the identity we were expected to trade for it.
The $5,000-a-Month Breadcrumb
In the 90s, Monica’s apartment was presented as the standard for “young single people”. But as a Gen X-er, I look at that space and see a financial lie. Even back then, that apartment would have cost $5,000 a month. My father, who raised three kids on a single policeman’s salary, eventually realized the world had changed. He saw that the job market and financial independence were becoming harder for my generation, while shows like Friends were still trying to sell us a high-gloss, unrealistic fantasy.
The Neutered Identity
The most telling part of the show’s arc for me was Chandler. In the early seasons, he and Joey were edgy, single guys making their way through the world with a sense of humor I genuinely liked. But once he was paired with Monica, he was effectively “neutered”. He became half of a codependent unit, losing the very identity that made him compelling.
I feel that in my bones because that is exactly what happened to me in both of my marriages and my long-term relationship. I lost myself in the “unit”.
Choosing Option C
The show missed a massive opportunity to admit that the “platonic vacuum” doesn’t exist. As Harry Burns famously pointed out, the sex part always gets in the way—and the show eventually proved him right by pairing everyone off.
But my “100% Policy” is about ensuring I never become a “neutered” version of myself again just to fit a societal script. My “Option C” is choosing myself. I’m rebuilding with intention, looking toward the horizon, and refusing to accept the sanitized Hollywood ending as my goal.
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- The Old Man’s Blueprint
- Rob Reviews: Star Trek: Starfleet Academy, episode 5 “Series Acclimation Mil”
- The One Where I Still Don’t Get It
- Suppositions of a Sleepless Knight
AI art created with Google Gemini
The article “The one where I still don’t get it, part two” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
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