Rebuilding Rob

The Math of the Midpoint

They say money doesn’t make the world go round. My retort: “Yeah, but it sure makes the trip a whole lot easier.”

Tuesday was payday, and it wasn’t a moment too soon. I’m still adjusting to taking on some of Mother’s bills. It’s not that I can’t afford them, but the margin for error has vanished. I’m finding that while I’m paid every 15 days, the tank starts running dry by day ten. It’s a specialized kind of stress—a quiet “weathering of the storm” that keeps you on edge even when the sun is out.

With my school district on spring break, I’ve been using this “staycation” to tackle the house. On Tuesday, I finally replaced the mailbox. The old pole had rotted out over the holidays; back then, Kid 1 helped me rig up a temporary fix. It felt fitting that Kid 2 helped me set the permanent pole now that the ground has finally thawed.

The Single Screw

I also took down a flagpole that had been in the yard for over 20 years. The bottom was cemented in, but the top ten feet were being held up by a single, rusted screw I removed by hand.

Lately, I feel like that screw.

I’m not falling apart, but I feel the wobbles. Between the house, my career, and the boys, it feels like Phred and I are holding things together with spit and wire. There’s a certain embarrassment in being 51 and realizing you aren’t in a position to own your own home, yet there’s a strange comfort in this house becoming ours. We are replacing mailboxes and discussing new washers and dryers, slowly overwriting the “Old Man’s” layout with our own. My next “adulting” challenge is the heating element on the gas dryer. I’ve done electric, but gas makes me nervous. Still, I’ll get it done. We always do.

Doing these repairs, I can’t help but think about the Old Man. This was his house, after all. He died at 67; I’m turning 52 on the 17th. When he was my age, it was 1999. I think I’m in better physical shape, but the mental load is different. I make these inevitable comparisons because I always wonder about my own mortality.

The Weathering

The “weathering” extends to the kids, too. Kid 1’s birthday was the 26th, and I finally got his birthday money to him today. I’d warned him it would be late, and he was incredibly graceful about it. He’s down in Charleston for break with his mom and his girlfriend, living his best life. I’m glad for his peace.

Kid 2, however, is struggling. He’s in danger of having to repeat fifth grade. He’s been online for a few years, but the turnover has been brutal—he’s on his fourth teacher this year. His anxiety is high, maybe even higher than mine was at that age. His mother admitted she hasn’t been keeping an eye on his homework, which is a bitter pill to swallow at the end of the third quarter. Honestly, repeating the year might not be the worst thing. He needs some small victories to build his confidence. He needs to feel like the ground beneath him isn’t thawing into mud.

The Flickering Light

Then there is Mother. Seeing her these last few days is like watching a flickering light. She spent thirty minutes yelling at me, convinced the med techs were giving her the wrong pills. When she’s lucid, I try to tell her she has to trust us—that Phred and I are her advocates—but lucidity is rare.

Phred is talking about bringing her home for the summer. It’s an economic necessity, but also a mercy. The Old Man came home for his final two weeks. I don’t want to be morbid, but sometimes I think Mother is just hanging on for that same chance—to be back in the house we are currently trying to keep upright, one screw at a time.

Saturday is for taking the mask (and gloves) off. 🛡️

In Season 2, Episode 7 of Rebuilding Rob: The Podcast, we’re talking about “Teacher Armor.” It’s that mental state, that “game face,” that we have to put on every Monday morning just to survive the classroom. But what happens when that armor gets too heavy? And why is Saturday the only day we feel safe enough to take it off and truly recharge?

Where to watch/listen:

• The Podcast: Streaming now—check your favorite app!

• The Illustrated Edition: The full “Director’s Cut” video version goes live tomorrow morning at 10:00 AM ET.

Whether you’re in the trenches of education or just navigating your own version of “survival mode,” this episode is for anyone who knows what it’s like to hold it all together until the weekend hits.

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Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts!

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Today’s post is inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt. While I’ve taken the topic in my own direction for the Road to 1,000 Days, you can find more responses to today’s prompt HERE.

AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “The Single Screw” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob