Rebuilding Rob

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

When you see photos or videos of yourself from 5-10 years ago, what goes through your mind?

This is an unbelievably timely prompt. Today is my 52nd birthday, and naturally, the occasion has me in a very reflective headspace. I’ve noticed that the older I get, the more introspective I become with each passing year.

Two days ago, X2 texted me out of the blue. Some old photos had popped up on her iPad—”on this day” memories from eight or nine years ago. Looking at that version of myself, the first thing I noticed was how much younger I looked. I was thinner. I didn’t have the double chin; I didn’t have the gut.

The Ghost of 42

I’ll be honest: I miss that guy. But I also have to remember why he looked that way. At that time, I was only a few years removed from my first divorce. I had so much anger and energy built up that I was hitting the gym 5, 6, or 7 days a week. I was working myself into exhaustion just so I wouldn’t have to think about my oldest son being hundreds of miles away in South Carolina. I was thinner, sure, but I was also fueling myself with stress and survival mode.

The Survival Tax

Fast forward ten years. I’m older. My metabolism has slowed, my strength has changed, and the “gut” I carry is likely a mix of slower days and the high-cortisol stress of more recent years—years spent trying to “patch the hole on the Titanic” in a relationship that was already sinking.

I’ve started making small changes lately. I’m cutting back on soda, watching the processed meats, and introducing things like yogurt. I’m seeing a couple of pounds drop, and it’s encouraging. It makes me feel like I can get back into the gym—not to be “shredded,” but to feel like I’m in the driver’s seat again.

Choosing “Me and Mine”

If I could talk to the man in that photo, I’d tell him: “Choose you. Always choose you. Your family is you and your kids. That’s it. Be the kind of man they can be proud of.”

I’ve realized I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy; I need to do for “me and mine.” As much as I’d love to have that 42-year-old body back, I’m not sure I’d trade the wisdom I have now to get it. To have that physical form again, I’d likely have to sacrifice the peace of mind and maturity I’ve fought so hard to accumulate.

Looking back at my response to this same prompt one year ago, I was mourning the lack of a “paper trail” for my thoughts. Today, the trail is 900+ days long, and the view from the timeline looks very different.

Reflecting and reminiscing

The Blueprint vs. The Build

The younger Rob had the build, but the 52-year-old Rob has the blueprint. To me, the wisdom is worth the weight.

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Today’s post is inspired by the WordPress Daily Prompt. While I’ve taken the topic in my own direction for the Road to 1,000 Days, you can find more responses to today’s prompt HERE.

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• New to Rebuilding Rob? Start Your Journey Here.
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• Rob Reviews: Daredevil: Born Again, episode 2.5 “The Grand Design”
• Choosing the Grit: Pride, Regret, and the Teacher’s Paycheck
• When the Armor Gets too Heavy

AI art created with Google Gemini

The article “The New 52: Rejecting the Deal with the Devil” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.