My favorite piece of advice is one I’ve actually written about a few times over the years on this blog. It’s the line Ferris Bueller repeats in Ferris Bueller‘s Day Off: “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
I didn’t appreciate that quote very much the first time I saw the movie back in 1986. But it’s one of those insights that resonates deeper the older I get.
A View From the Center of Attention
I remember, shortly before my wedding day, my cousin (not technically by blood—his mother was my mother’s childhood friend, but we’ve always been family) pulled me aside. He wanted to give me a piece of advice specifically for the big day. He said, “Rob, every now and then, stop, look around, and take everything in. This day goes so fast!”
He was right. Despite how things ultimately turned out, or whatever feelings I carry now, it was still a monumental day. Barring a near miracle, I don’t see myself ever getting married again, so that day still holds a unique place in my memories.
And I did exactly what he suggested. It’s a strange thing when you’re getting married, because you are literally the center of attention. For someone who generally dislikes being the spotlight, knowing you’re the guest of honor—the person everyone is there to see—is a hell of an ego stroke.
Stepping Outside the Production
The Old Man and I used to film and photograph weddings for his business, so I had already seen the behind-the-scenes drama, the expected behaviors, and the rigid rituals. But because of my cousin’s advice, I made a conscious choice to step outside the production. I made a point to stop every now and then and just look around. To just let the emotion of the moment wash over me.
Granted, it’s tough to do when you’re expected to be everywhere at once, acting as the “main attraction.” The truth is, weddings often feel more like entertaining your guests than doing anything for yourself. You book the hall, choose the menu, hire the DJ, and—if you’re a halfway decent person—open the bar. Personally, I think it’s an insult to have a cash bar at a wedding, economic restraints notwithstanding. It’s a funny irony how much of “the biggest day of your life” is actually geared toward catering to everyone else.
But the advice stands for everything. Whether you’re getting married, graduating, experiencing the birth of a child, or just stuck face-down in the proverbial grind: stop what you’re doing. Look around. Really soak in the moment. Look at the faces of the people around you. Pay attention to the weather. Put your bare feet on the grass.
The Momentum of Day 999
It’s incredibly fitting that I received this prompt today. This is the 999th consecutive day I’ve posted to this blog. A long time ago, I decided to shoot for 1,000, and that milestone lands tomorrow, May 31st. Lately, I’ve been trying to allow myself to reflect on these last three years of blogging. To be honest, I’ve produced so much content that it’s hard to take it all in.
I’ve been going back and retroactively updating older posts—not changing the thoughts or words, but updating the formatting blocks and trying to integrate the newer logo I designed a few months back. Even then, I find myself torn; part of me wants to keep the old logo intact for posterity.
Years ago, I played the role-playing game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Strangeness. In one of the supplement books, Trans-Dimensional Turtles, the author described time travel by noting, “We are all time-travelers, moving steadily at a rate of 60 seconds per minute into the future.”
Sometimes those 60 seconds per minute seem to move much faster than others. Slow them down whenever you can.
Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Whether I’m closing in on 1,000 consecutive days of blogging or reflecting on the decade of work that brought me here, the mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.
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The article “The Art of Moving Slowly According to Ferris Bueller” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
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