All of this and nothing

On Monday morning, I got an e-mail from my attorney, stating that the STBX was served on Friday night. It was anti-climactic to say the least. For all of my thoughts leading up to it happening – the screaming match I imagined, the idle threats for which I mentally prepared myself, the thinly veiled Facebook postings alluding to our relationship – there was no reaction from her.  Nothing.   I’m not complaining. I’m just surprised.

Equally surprising have been my feelings about it. I thought I would be excited about it. I thought it would feel empowering.  I thought I would be gloating.  Instead, I feel none of that. When I saw it, it was just another e-mail.One of my favorite sayings is “the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference”.  Maybe I’m just indifferent to the whole thing at this point.  For some time, I’ve been telling myself, and anyone who would listen, that I just want to move forward.  I guess I actually meant it.

Maybe she didn’t actually get the letter yet. Maybe she’s keeping quiet to mess with me. The one constant in her personality has been her inability to think before opening her mouth to speak. Maybe getting served knocked her off of her high horse.

Okay, I REALLY doubt that last line.

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