The Sleepless Knight

As of now, all is quiet on the western front – as far as legal proceedings are concerned.  I would be shocked if the STBX didn’t get served this week.  I just want done.  I’m not anxious or scared about it; I just want to move forward.

Last week, I finally started working out at Planet Fitness.  I can understand why the place is as popular as it is.  They market themselves as “the judgement-free zone”  and I can truly say it is the most relaxed, non-intimidating experience I’ve ever had in a gym.  I’ve woke up a little bit sore the first few times I went, but not enough to discourage me from going back.  In fact, I think I’m on the verge of establishing the gym as a habit.  So far, it is totally worth my $10 monthly fee.

Okay, I admit it: I wanna look good. I wanna lose my gut.  I wanna develop some muscle tone.  I wanna feel good too.  And yes, I’d like to see some results before I see the STBX again. I want her to see that not only am I doing “just fine” but also that I am prospering in The New Normal.

One thing I continue to have trouble with is sleeping.  It’s not because I miss sharing a bed with the STBX.  When it’s dark and quiet, my mind starts wandering.  When I do sleep, it’s usually out of pure exhaustion.

More than anything, I think about my Son at night. I think I miss him far more than I even consciously realize.  More than ever, I’m thinking about talking to a counselor again.  If I do it, I’m gonna have to go before I lose my insurance.

It’s only 12 days until I fly out to get my Son for Christmas.  I suppose it would probably help if I got some Christmas shopping done between now and then…

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