This entry was originally started on April 23, 2013
I unwittingly became something of a Facebook stalker today. the Auteur has spent the day at her college putting the final touches on a short movie for one of her video classes (ahh…THERE’S the origin of her code name…)
Anyway, she’s got a FB friend (who she apparently had a class with a year or so ago) whom i shall refer to as TP. I remember seeing TP post comments on some of The Auteur’s Facebook updates. At first, I didn’t think much of it: The Auteur and I had just met, we hadn’t really tread the exclusivity question up to that point. Then I remember seeing an exchange between them on the 24th that set me off. After seeing that one, I decided to do some “virtual scrapbooking” on her Facebook timeline. You’ll see said exchanges below, book-ended by my comments on them. Judge for yourself…
This first one is in reference to the official announcement that Arrested Development would resume production, with new episodes airing exclusively on Netflix.
Doesn’t sound so bad, alone. Looking back though, I was pissed because the last comment was made ON MY BIRTHDAY. I didn’t see The Auteur on my birthday because it fell on a Wednesday this year.
This next exchange is in reference to a selfie that The Auteur took, sporting a t-shirt from her favorite show, The Walking Dead. I removed the photo as to protect The Auteur’s identity. Incidentally, T, J and G are some of her other FB friends.
“You look incredbile”?? Really? The comment by G struck me as the kind of compliment one friend would give to another: a little bit over-the top and definitely not the kind of thing a guy would actually say to a woman he was sexually attracted to. TP sounds like he’s fishing for some feedback here. Keep reading, it gets better…
Okay, this dude is in the film program with her – or was last year anyway. I assume he does realize that this is a 4 minute movie. By The Auteur’s own admission, the people in her program are socially awkward, at best. For that reason, I feel that I can related to this guy on some levels, and these are the kinds of things I would say if I wanted to get with this girl, yet was too scared to ask her out. He’s looking, albeit desperately, for an “in”
This next one is where it starts to get a little creepy, especially considering what followed afterward. this was the day after they finished filimng; so she was spending the next day editing. Notice I started to get a little more comfortable with MS Paint in this one…
This was the straw that broke the camel’s back. When I saw this, I finally confronted her about it and asked “What’s going on?” It was also at this point that I went back and found the 3 previous posts. When I brought it up, she said that this exchange creeped her out…only to deny having said that a few days later.
A few days after I confronted her with all of this, she posted her completed movie on her website without announcing it or sharing it on Facebook. She did this so that the 2 actors in it could watch it. Apparently, TP was trolling her website, saw it and posted a link to it. she claimed this pissed her off, because she felt it was her place to decide whether or not this was to be shared with others ( and yes, I do recognize the irony of that statement considering that I’m posting all of this shit here).
She hasn’t de-friended the guy. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that she’s leading him on; but she hasn’t cut him off at the pass yet either. I think what pisses me off most is that I blew off 5 or 6 potentials to date The Auteur exclusively…and this is how she reacts to a guy who is clearly interested in her.
Earlier today, he “liked” something that she posted. This only re-ignited the anger in me. That, and the fact that she informed me that she has already made plans with 2 of her girlfriends for her birthday. I supposed I could do the preemptive strike and take her out the night before her birthday, but still…
This is new for me. I’m not normally one to get jealous. I never questioned or suspected the STBX of any cheating or potential cheating. Maybe that’s why I’m reacting like this now: I completely trusted the STBX and today we’re separated.
So, what is the consensus here? Is this just some guy who won’t take no for an answer? Is The Auteur leading him on? Is it just me? Can The Auteur really be this naive to this guys advances?
Welcome to the game my friend. He is into her. She is keeping her options open. She will say it is harmless friendship, but clearly she is NOT SHUTTING IT DOWN.
She has not done anything wrong, but if you experiences mirror mine, with many women you have trouble having a genuine conversation about boundaries. Women who are not aware of the When Harry Met Sally issues of men and women face in friendship are asking for trouble.
Having said all that, she did nothing wrong. The smart move is to be quiet about it an observe without losing your mind. The smart move is to play it cool at the phase you are in. Unless you are in a committed relationship it is fair for her to keep her options open.
PS: And she is flirting but it isn’t out of bounds flirting. There is a big difference. That is another fact of life that will be a challenge to have a realistic conversation about…