It doesn’t have to be a perfect world

As we move closer to finalizing my divorce, the STBX will hereafter be referred to as "Jabba"

As we move closer to finalizing my divorce, the STBX will hereafter be referred to as “Jabba”

I called off from working Saturday night because I wanted to go  see The Auteur.  Earlier that evening, i asked my dad if I could borrow his car and go straight out to her house after work on Sunday morning.  He gave me his usual lecture about taking advantage of the car situation –  which admittedly, I am doing – and about getting my proverbial shit together.  I get.  I do:  he’s trying to hit me with the Tough Love approach but it prompted me to make a decision:  I’m moving in with The Auteur.

Her and I have discussed it for at least the last month or two; but talking about it, and making the decision seemed to put her mind at ease about a lot of things, and that put my mind at ease about a lot of things.

Monday would have been (was?) her and Rhino’s wedding anniversary.  He texted her in the morning, which she told me about.  Otherwise, the day went with virtually no matrimonial fanfare whatsoever, as far as I know.

I don’t feel that this decision – for the Auteur and I to live together – is an impulsive one.  Five months into my relationship with Jabba, I had bought her a ring and we had already been living together for months.  Comparatively speaking, this relationship has been a much more deliberate one.  It amazes me sometimes to think that we have only known each other for five months.  It seems like we’ve known each other for year, and not in a bad way; and yet so many things still feel so completely new.

As an outsider looking, in have to wonder, “what the hell is a separated-but-still-married-man doing even considering moving in with a separated-but-still-married-woman and her teenage daughter?”  I mean, i have every reason to believe that this could sabotage any possible visitation or custody attempts I may make at The Boy.

At the same time, being with The Auteur just feels right.  I am happiest when we are together.  I feel complete when I am with her.  This, my friends, is love.

To complicate things even more, I am scheduled to appear in court next week  one one day before the Auteur and I were planning our own trip down to South Carolina.  I’ve come to the realization that I almost certainly will not see The Boy on this trip.  Right now, I’m just hoping to see him at Thanksgiving.  I haven’t heard back from my lawyer since he sent me the court notice. I am very seriously considering firing this guy, but that’s probably not the best strategy with one week until my first court appearance.

I’m not asking for a perfect world.  The world is an imperfect place.  The Auteur and I have both been through our share of shit.  right now our lives are in an indefinite holding pattern until our divorces are completed.  I just want to be happy.  It’s like I keep saying to her: “it’s time for our happily ever after”.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: