Sturm und drang

next to this pic in the dictionary, it says "see Rob last week"

next to this pic in the dictionary, it says “see Rob last week”

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…”

– Charles Dickens A Tale of Two Cities

It’s times like this last week for which expressions like “an emotional roller coaster” were invented.

Sunday morning, after two weeks of wonder what was going on with her physically, I found out that The Auteur is pregnant.

I am going to be a father again!

She took a home pregnancy test last Sunday morning.  The results came up quickly, so much so in fact that when I heard her say “wow, that was quick!”  I immediately knew the results.  It was two more days before we got her in to a doctor to get some blood work done. The day after that (Wednesday)  she had her first ultra-sound.  As of this writing, our baby is about the size of a grain of rice.

Initially, The Auteur was convinced it was a boy, now she doesn’t seem so sure.  We’ve both said that we would like to have one of each together – so that we as a couple can have the whole parenting experience together.  sure we The Kid and 1B, but we want to have our own children as a couple as well.

When she took the test last Sunday, we were both elated.  the next 48 hours or so that followed, there were some questions and concerns for both of us.  I know I personally felt a sense of relief when the Auteur went to have some blood work done; and even more so after her ultrasound.  We’ve had some questions as to whether or not we would even be able to have children – which of course have now been answered in the best way possible. It’s relief.  It’s excitement.  it’s vindication.  It’s the future.  It’s all of these things…and so much more.

We’ve been talking a lot about the future lately:  getting married, having kids, possibly moving out of state a little further down the road.  We’ve had some questions as to when we should do what:  get married first?  try to start a family first?  We’re not getting any younger and we both want both our blended family and a family of our own.  I remember saying once to her that we almost need something to happen in order to tell us what order to proceed in.  Whatever way one slices it, this is tremendous news.  At this moment in my life, i can imagine no greater honors than having a child with The Auteur and being marrying her.  We’ve obviously been working on one.  Now it’s time to get serious about the other.

And on the flip side…

Tuesday morning, my father The Old Man – went to the hospital.  He’s had a bad back for years and has been laid up in bed quite a bit over the last several weeks.  He goes in Tuesday and we were told that he had 3 cracked vertebrae and a spot on one of his lungs.  As of this writing, they still don’t know if it’s cancer despite several tests.  we’re hoping to know more later in the week.

Right now, I just hope he’s home for Thanksgiving.

The thing is, his mother (my grandmother) went through something almost identical when she died.  The doctors found that she had lung cancer and it had spread to her bones.  Keep in mind, The Old Man has smoked since before I was born and he’s never been able to quit.  Frankly, I’ve been waiting for news like this since I was old enough to establish a connection between smoking, lung cancer and my dad. Still, you’re never ready for a bombshell like this.

I haven’t told him about the baby yet.  I wanted to wait until he was out of the hospital.  Now I may tell him on Thanksgiving, regardless.  The Auteur and I have talked a little bit about what we should do if he does have “The big C”.  Should we get married sooner than planned?  These are the kinds of things this type of news gets you thinking about.

I keep going back the early conversations we had when I first moved back to Michigan; about him wanting to see me have a plan to put my life back together; about him wanting to know that I at least had a plan.  Right now, I just want him to see me happy.  I want him to see that not only am I going to be okay, but that I’m going to succeed and prosper.

Once again, I have so much to be thankful for this year.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: