Broken glass

One thing about me: dream interpretation is something that is fascinated me for a long time. I find it interesting the way that people will find things that we dream to have a much deeper meaning then any kind of prima facia, literal meaning that they might have. I think I had one of those dreams last night. One that gave my brain a time to process things that of happened to me just a few hours earlier.

Last night, after dealing with some shenanigans from the Auteur, I had a dream about broken glass.

I went to pick up the New Guy last night, as usual. We were about halfway home when I got a text from the Auteur. It bordered on getting long-winded; and it was one of those situations where you could tell she wanted to get something off of her chest. She wanted to do it all in one breath, and she did it while she knew I would still be driving home, which meant I would not have a chance to respond timely fashion

Before I get into the heart of the message, let me give a little background: for the last few months: The Auteur and I had seemed like we were dancing around the idea of potentially getting back together. I had, at one time expressed feelings for her. She, in turn, had another time where she expressed feelings for me. She had told me that “she needed time“ and that she wasn’t ready to get into a relationship again. I told her I understood, and I did. There’s a lot of history between us and because our timing was off, I simply decided to move on.

So in this message, she told me that she doesn’t think that we’re going to get back together. And she wanted to be clear about it because she felt like we both been dancing around the issue for the last few weeks, and she was getting a feeling that I was seeing somebody, but was avoiding saying something to her. Now, in her defense, that has been an awkward topic for me to discuss with her when I was seeing someone.

Now, she is partially correct. I have been talking to a few people, and I even went on a date last week. But nothing serious and certainly not warranting a discussion with her, yet. I appreciate that she was trying to make it easier for me to talk to her, but the whole thing came across as very patronizing. It sounded as if she was giving me her blessing, or permission, to date other people because she had decided that we weren’t getting back together.

Honestly, who the hell does this person think she is?

I wrote The Auteur back. In a nutshell, I said that I had moved on but thank you for being direct with me. I explain to her that after Financial Services and I broke up, it occurred to me that the “hold“ that she (The Auteur) had on me was the fact that I needed to be able to forgive myself for that relationship not working out. In a long-winded response, I told her that I was at peace. She wrote me back about an hour or so later to say that that was good.

it occurred to me that the “hold“ that she (The Auteur) had on me was the fact that I needed to be able to forgive myself for that relationship not working out.

I thought it took a lot of audacity for her to text me and basically give me permission to see other people, but otherwise, I was completely, emotionally detached from this message. I was a little shocked by her thinking I was waiting for her permission to date other people. I didn’t make me yearn for the past. It didn’t make me beat myself up over the fact that that relationship didn’t worked. As I had told her, I was simply at peace.

Fast forward to last night. At some point in the night, I had a dream about broken glass. And as I am often prone to doing after having Such a dream, I wanted to look up broken glass in a dream interpretation. Here’s what I found.

I don’t know so much about disappointment, but the adverse changes in my life, I can go with that.

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