being hooked

In season 5 of my all-time favorite sitcom How I Met Your Mother, there is an episode title “Hooked”. In it, Ted tells the story about the time he was “on the hook” to a woman named Tiffany (played by Carrie Underwood). The Hook Theory, as explained in the episode and here explains how a person can be only interested enough in someone to “string them along”.

In the example from the HIMYM episode, Tiffany is the “hooker” and Ted is “on the hook”. Ted is interested in Tiffany, but she will not commit to him. In fact, Tiffany has another boyfriend and is keeping Ted “on the hook” in case or until someone better comes along. As the episode progresses, we learn that all of the regular cast members (except for Barney) either have someone on their hook, or are being hooked themselves. Some characters are even in both situations.

I bring this up because it has occurred to me in the last few days that, I too, am on somebody’s hook. I will call her Roe. I met Roe several months back on one of the dating apps. We went out twice, but nothing ever happened physically between us. We never even kissed. She’s told me a couple times that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, and expresses frustration that nothing ever happened between us. At the time, I chalked it up as me being too cautious and not really getting a vibe from her.

After ironing all that out, we had made plans to go out a third time. I don’t hear from her at all the day before. Then, on the day of the third date, she wrote me and tells me she got a feeling we shouldn’t see each other. I told her that I think she’s afraid of getting hurt and doesn’t want to get too close to anyone; but that I would respect her wishes. The following day, she defriended me on social media.

A few weeks later, when the word came down about Roe v. Wade getting overturned by the U.S Supreme Court, I texted her. In fact , she was the first person I communicated with about it. I kept it pretty brief, expecting nothing from it; the “I thought you should know. Hope everything is well.” kind if thing. At the time, she said some thing like “I’ve been a bitch to you and you’ve been nothing but nice to me”. I replied with “that because I care about you, dummy”. That was about it until yesterday. She texted me basically to vent, but we got to chatting a bit again.

So it’s been established that this woman is attractive, horny and finds me at least attractive enough that she has wanted to sleep with me.

So what was holding me back? I think I was intimidated by Roe. I can safely say that she wasn’t the hottest girl I ever dated, but she had a supreme level of confidence to her that, quite honestly, made her even sexier than she physically was.

On the flipside, I have to confess that I think I’ve had somebody on my hook as well. I’m going to call her Pharma girl. Like Roe, we met on one of the dating apps. We’ve talked and text a lot, but to be honest with you, I’m not very physically attracted to Pharma Girl. She’s very cool, and very sweet, but I just don’t feel it there.

And who knows? Pharma Girl is one of those people that I could see myself really falling for over the course of time. but as of now, we have still never met face-to-face. At this point I’m not really in any hurry to meet her. I know that sounds cool, and I know I sound like I’m really keeping her on the hook; but I’m just not feeling it, and I’m not ready to part with her yet either.

UPDATE 11/2/2022. Roe and I started talking again. In fact we got together about a week or so ago to get some dinner and a couple drinks. This time, I took the initiative and kissed her; but that’s as far as it went.

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