Rebuilding Rob

A few minutes ago, I got an alert on my phone from Apple news. I saw a headline that contains the word “Hangxiety“ and it really caught my attention. But since I’m too cheap to subscribe to Apple news, I did a Google search and found this article on the topic:

As someone who suffers from anxiety, and was once a pretty heavy social drinker: how in the hell have I never heard of this before?

Hangxiety, as the term would suggest, is a combination of a hangover and anxiety. The article explains that sometimes a hangover can actually trigger the effects of anxiety. On the flipside, it also explains it people who suffer from anxiety may often times self medicate through alcohol.

In what now seems like a lifetime ago, 11 years to be precise, I had perhaps, my worst ever example of Hangxiety . In my case. I was using alcohol to combat effects of anxiety. In a three-part post that I wrote here for part 1, here for part 2 and here for part 3, I talked about the whole sordid affair. It was the night of X2’s (then-referred to as The Auteur) birthday.

In the immediate aftermath in my divorce, I started drinking pretty heavily. It was a coping mechanism for me for dealing with being away from my son. But also, I was hanging out with a local “social club” where alcohol was involved in virtually every one of their gatherings. I’m not saying any of this to throw blame; rather, I’m trying to set the scene.

As it stood, I was already terribly anxious, whenever it came time to given gifts to a significant other. This was the first birthday that X2 and I were together for. Needless to say, I was terribly anxious about what I had gotten her for her birthday. Would she like it? Would she hate it? Would it somehow be reflection upon me? I remember getting worked up over it, and I began drinking, heavily, as she was making her way over to my citrus apartment that night. I was completely stressed out and I wanted to get numb as fast as I possibly could.

Of course, this is all water, way, WAY under the bridge now. I had pieced all of this together in the aftermath of what transpired over those couple of days. But this is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone try to attach any sort of medical or psychological term to what I was experiencing.

This in no way, justifies or rationalizes my behavior from that night all those years ago. But in a weird sense, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only person who’s ever dealt with this. On the contrary, it’s happened so often to so many people that they’ve actually given a name to it.

In the immediate aftermath of X2’s birthday, I went completely sober for about a year. In fact, I don’t even remember when I finally did touch a drink again. But today I’ll have an occasional beer at dinner, or a concert, or even a baseball game; but never when there are no other grownups around. If Kid 2 and I are ballpark-chasing, it’s all soft drinks for me.

I don’t know why, but I just felt the need to assure this experience with everybody.

Have you ever experienced Hangxiety?

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related posts:

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The article “Rob Reacts: “Hangxiety: The Link Between Alcohol and Anxiety” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.