Rebuilding Rob

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On ghosting

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As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

Have you ever ghosted someone?

To the best of my knowledge, I havenโ€™t ever ghosted anybody before. I feel like I would be lying if I said that though. But I know that Iโ€™ve certainly been ghosted myself.

Ghosting somebody is incredibly chicken-shit way to end a relationship. If I can play devils advocate here for a moment, I understand why people do it. Itโ€™s easy. It avoids the awkward and unenviable conversation of breaking things off with a person. How delicately does one say to someone โ€œI just Iโ€™m not that into youโ€œ? Also, I think that this digital age of smart phones and social media that weโ€™re living and makes it easier than ever. All you have to do is ignore them. Stop calling. Stop responding when they call. Maybe even block them.

But for the person being ghosted, itโ€™s brutal. One never gets closer when they are ghosted. They never know what they did wrong or what really went wrong. Left on chat, this can lead to intense self-doubt and self-consciousness. Getting ghosted is one of these situations in life where you have to simply tell yourself โ€œthe only resolution Iโ€™m going to get is that there is no resolutionโ€œ.

I think itโ€™s interesting that I chose this topic to write on today, as I am approaching an impasse in the Betty and Veronica situation. very soon. Iโ€™m going to have to make a decision as to which one Iโ€™m going to pursue. And I think in my mind, Iโ€™ve already decided. The problem is. I donโ€™t want to hurt anybodyโ€™s feelings. With that in mind, I would much rather be honest with the other person than simply ghost them. Ghosting is just so selfish, as I mentioned before.

I think recently Iโ€™ve have been guilty of breadcrumbing Betty. Iโ€™m giving her enough attention to show that Iโ€™m still interested, but I feel like Iโ€™m trying to wean myself off of her. In many ways, breadcrumbing is almost as bad as ghosting. I just donโ€™t wanna hurt anyoneโ€™s feelings. And the problem with ghosting is, one isnโ€™t worried about the other personโ€˜s feelings. The ghoster is only concerned about their own feelings. ๏ฟผ

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2 responses to “On ghosting”

  1. Silk Cords Avatar
    Silk Cords

    I’ve gotta be more serious here than I usually am. First as a side note, your proofreading is slipping. Quit assuming auto-incorrect is doing the right thing. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My advice; sit down and talk with the one you want to stick with and make sure she feels the same. You don’t have to take about marriage but make sure she wants to be serious and more focused on each other, etc…

    Assuming she says yes, cut the poor other woman loose cleanly and decisively. This whole “I don’t want to hurt anyone” thing is just looking for an easier way out. Anything other than a clean break causes FAR more damage. While we’re at it, breadcrumbing is worse than ghosting. It gives the other person false hope, leaves them constantly feeling anxious about the relationship and that if they’d just done more it should have worked out. The longer it goes on, the more soul crushing it becomes.

    In fact, I’ll tell you about the weakest & lowest period in my life as proof. I caught up with my high school crush 4 years after school. Paradise for a month, then I went away to tie up some of my old life in another state where I’d been living. I come back to coldness and indifference and get breadcrumbed in between arguments for another 6 months. Then I finally get dumped and find out they’ve been dating a friend that I said EARLY on was out to break us up.

    After getting dumped, I get another 6 months of push-pull games, getting my heart ripped out over and over again before finally getting pushed away permanently.

    I cursed their name every night for years. They ended up dying early at 45ish also, and even that wasn’t enough to make me stop hating them. I’m past the point of that hate, but the scars are still there. The person that used to be my best friend and who I swore was my soulmate left me without a single good memory in the end.

    Bottom line; don’t be THAT asshole.

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    1. rebuilding rob Avatar
      rebuilding rob

      In my case it that I use voice dictation too much. When I do use it, I end up speaking at my natural pace and it canโ€™t always keep up. Hence, some of my โ€œtyposโ€

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