Rebuilding Rob

As WordPress continues to recycle old prompts, I pulled another prompt from The Coffee Monsterz Co to respond to today

Is there something being expected of you (by society, family) that you wish wasn’t?

My answers to this prompt are very much the reason that I started this blog in the first place.

Be sensitive, but don’t be a pussy

There is a double standard of behavior that is expected of men. It’s a paradox that quite frankly, most of us men have not and cannot ever master.

Women want me to be more sensitive, but as a sensitive man myself, I can assure that most women cannot handle it when men start to express their emotions. Of course, I cannot see that as a blanket general statement about all women everywhere, but in my experience, more often than none, it’s been true. Women say they want men to be more sensitive, but when they do, men are viewed as weak.

I cannot remember the exact day, but I can’t remember the exact conversation. I was having with X1 one time after a rough day at work. I was starting to tell her about my day and she cut me off and said “I really can’t handle your bitching right now”. Looking back on it now, I realized that that moment was the big beginning of the end of our marriage.

The funny thing is that it wasn’t like this was the worst day I ever had at work. And maybe X1 was having a worse day than I was. To be honest, I don’t ever remember if I asked her about it or not. All I remember was emotionally detaching at that moment; not just from the conversation but from from the relationship as well.

Anything you say may be used against you.

Unfortunately, I’ve also experienced a woman using my deepest thoughts and my insecurities against me. X2 did that several times in our arguments. Right up until time I stopped telling her how I felt. When a man sees his emotions or his feeling on something being used against him like ammunition, he stops sharing things. When he stops sharing his feelings, he stops sharing other things in a relationship.

And people who one why I have no interest in getting married again…

I wish it wasn’t like this, but it’s true. A lot of Women think they understand men. They tend to over simplify us. At least with men, there’s no such misconception. Men neither understand – nor pretend to understand – the female psyche. This isn’t a slam against either men nor women. The two are just built differently.

I don’t want this to come across as if I feel like men have it so bad in relationships. The prompt asked for one thing that is expected of me that I would like to change; so I responded.

To anyone who enters into a romantic relationship with a man: if you get frustrated when he comes across as lacking emotion, then when they use his emotions or his feelings against him in the heat of an argument, you will lose him forever. Though maybe the relationship won’t end, l he will emotionally disconnect himself forever. After that, all you will hear is “I’m fine “or “I’m good“ whatever you ask him how he’s feeling or if anything is wrong. Men won’t allow themselves into a relationship with their feelings are used against them. At least they won’t do it very often. 

Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related posts

• The Boy Who Looked at His Feet
• Even White People Get Ashy
• The Tricorder in My Pocket
• Challenger 40: The Generational Echo
• Take Kid 2 to Work Day: An Unexpected Win

The article “a double-standard for men” first appeared in Rebuilding Rob.