The Middle-Aged Holden Caulfield

Who is the fictional character you relate to the most?

I have identified with holden Caulfield ever since the first time I read The Catcher in the Rye. In fact, I remember one of my buddies from high school once said “Rob you ARE Holden Caulfield!“. It’s didn’t help that I had a haircut similar to the one that Holden describes in the novel.

No, I didn’t go through any of the traumas that he went through in the book. But as a teenager, I had that exact same loathing of “phonies.” I wanted to find people who are genuine and sincere.

I don’t think that’s terribly unusual for young people to experience. In adolescence, we start forging our own identity and seeking out our own independence. It’s also a time when we realize that the world doesn’t exactly function the way that our parents told us that it did.

That’s something I talk to my junior high and high school students a lot about. By high school, the kids understand it. In junior high, they’re still just coming to these realizations, and I think it’s important that they have someone there to tell them that it’s normal. The middle school years are such an awkward time in a kid’s life. Their bodies are physically growing, their body chemistry is shifting due to hormones, and as I said, they are just coming to the realization that the world doesn’t necessarily function the way Mom and Dad told them it does.

High school kids have seen through the bullshit. They understand the score, but they’re still looking for something pure.

That is an incredibly bitter pill to swallow. Is there any wonder that people end up like Holden?

As adults, I think we forget what it’s like being that age sometimes. Yeah, we have memories of it, but we forget what those feelings are like in that particular moment. Without the wisdom that age and experience have provided us, it’s very easy for us to look back on those days in hindsight differently than we did when we were experiencing them. I think it’s all a matter of perspective, and sometimes we just need to be empathetic with kids when they’re dealing with this stuff.

The general consensus is that people lose their angst as they get older, make compromises, and basically “turn into the system.” I like to think I’ve never entirely lost that initial spark, though it’s certainly been tempered. Through life experiences, you learn how to process things differently—maybe a form of compromising with a lowercase “c”—without letting the internal compass get flattened.

Because when kids are staring down a world that feels fake or unstable, theoretical answers don’t cut it. For a lot of our students, especially in alternative ed, home lives can be chaotic. The best thing we can do as teachers—and as adults—is just to be there. Be steady. Be consistent. Be the one unflappable thing in their life. Just knowing they are going to see us every day, walking into a room where they can feel some sense of normal, matters more than they realize. They are training to become the next generation of leaders and adults, and they need us to show up for them now more than ever.

Standing still long enough to check the clock changes everything. The journey takes an unexpected turn later this month, and the math starts getting real. More on that soon…

Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.

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The article “the middle-age Holden Caulfield“ first appeared im Rebuilding Rob.

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