How do you define success in life?
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This is a tricky question. After all, success is such a relative term. Of course, that’s probably why it was turned into a writing prompt.
For a lot of people, particularly here in America, they equate success with the accumulation of financial wealth. And yes, if you measure success by how much money is in your bank account or your net worth, then becoming wealthy equals success.
Where people get it wrong is thinking that in order to be happy, one has to be financially successful. I’ve learned over the years that while money sure makes the trip around the world a whole lot easier, it is not what makes the world go round.
From the outside looking in, I think most people probably perceive me as just being very average—or maybe even below average. That’s not my low self-esteem talking, and it’s not me being humble to a fault. It’s just how society measures things. But the truth is, I spent a lot of time looking at people who were doing “better” than me, forgetting that perspective is a huge part of this equation.
For me, my definition of a successful life is simple: Am I happy?
Are there people with tons of money who are miserable? Absolutely. Are there people with great family dynamics whose lives are garbage in every other area? Sure. I’d love more professional success, but I am gainfully employed, which is more than a lot of people can say right now. And as for my relationship with Sierra, I couldn’t be happier. The only thing that could make it better is if we had even more time together than we already do.
The real test for me has always been fatherhood. With the holidays coming up, the commercials featuring those cliché, nuclear-family Christmases are starting to hit the screen. I beat myself up for a long time over not giving my kids that picture-perfect Norman Rockwell upbringing. I hate the thought that Kid 1, now 19, might not have those traditional childhood holiday memories to look back on nostalgically (though I still hold out hope there’s time to build them for Kid 2).
But it took a while for me to realize that when I have my boys, it is good.
I remember one year in particular, Kid 2 and I made the trip down to Charleston for a few days after Christmas. I rented an Airbnb, picked up Kid 1, and we all just hung out together. That was the first time I actually dragged out a small artificial Christmas tree I’d been hauling around in a box for years. We set it up, hung our ornaments, and had our own Christmas—just the three of us.
Sitting in that rented space, looking at that little tree, it hit me: This is my family, and it’s okay.
Take a guy like Elon Musk. He has more money than God, but according to a quick search, he has fourteen children and a well-documented string of strained relationships with them. Does his obscene wealth make him a success? Does his complex personal life make him a failure?
None of these individual markers—the bank balance, the career title, or the standard holiday portrait—tell the whole story. I feel successful today not because I fit into someone else’s mold, but because I’ve redefined the frame. I am at peace, I am doing the work, and in the ways that truly count, I am happy.
Rebuilding a life takes grit, consistency, and a lot of ‘Option C’ thinking. Having crossed the 1,000-day milestone, I’m now charting the territory beyond. The mission remains the same: No glitz. Just the work. New to the blog? Start your journey here to see the blueprint and the ‘Tricorder’ perspective behind the rebuild.
Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like 👍, comment and subscribe below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media and check out my recent posts:
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The article “The Tree Out of the Box: Redefining What Success Looks Like” first appeared. On Rebuilding Rob.
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