This video always reminds me of Sunday mornings.
I haven’t written anything in over a week at least nothing that’s ready for posting yet. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately: thinking about my son and the STBX. But last night and today was much different. Either i’m starting to settle in, or my sleep schedule got so out-of-whack that I’m naturally starting to sleep again at night.
A big reason I haven’t written lately is because i’ve been so caught up in the Tigers games as the regular season has turned into the postseason. I’d normally be a little bummed that my Dad didn’t get playoff tickets this year; but it’s been so cold, and I’ve been so “off-kilter” that I don’t really mind.
I spoke to my son tonight. It was only a 5 minute conversation; but unlike most times we talk, I never got the feeling either one of us was sad at the end. I didn’t the urge to get out and walk. Thoughts of the STBX did NOT run through my head. It was just a good, albeit brief, conversation. Last night was even better. We talked for about 15 minutes and it was the most engaged he’s been in a phone conversation with me yet.
Are we both turning the proverbial corner? Are we getting used to the new normal? The second of my two classes finally met yesterday, and i definitely feel like I’m transitioning back into school quite nicely. In any case, I’m grateful to finally have a few distractions in my life right now. I still need to get out and socialize more, but I’m glad with how things are starting to go for me lately.
At the same time, I don;t want to forget how angry I am with the STBX, or how much it hurts to not be in my son’s everyday life. That anger and hurt motivates me. It motivates me to take care of what I need to do here so I can get back to South Carolina.
That, and a deep run in the postseason by the Tigers will make this winter a lot easier to endure.