I suppose it’s hauntingly ironic that Veronica and I haven’t been talking very much over the last few days. I know she’s a little frustrated; I’m trying to coordinate holiday plans with Kid 1 and Kid 2. I feel bad—she’s waiting on me to make her own plans. I’m not trying to leave her out to dry or anything; I just don’t know what Kid 1’s plans are yet. X1 is no help in this endeavor either, because she’s planning her holiday entirely around Kid 1.
Coordinating the Calendar
I know that Kid 1 is planning to see me over the break; it’s just a question of when. I’m going to call X1 today and lock down a date for the “exchange.” Kid 1 can make his plans around our schedule at this point.
Phred and I have talked a little bit, and I’m coming to the realization that we don’t really have plans for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. In recent years, we’ve all been going over to Guillaume’s house for the family holiday celebrations. But he, his wife, and their kids are going to be in Vegas and not flying back until Christmas Eve. They said nothing about getting together for the holiday.
It’s sounding more and more like I will have Kid 1 for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day this year, so it may just be the three of us. I won’t have Kid 2 until the week after, or as I like to call it, “Christmas, part two.” Before Kid 1 turned 18, I had him and Kid 2 on the same holiday visitation schedule, which would’ve meant that I would’ve seen them both the week of New Year’s.
A Family in Transition
But as I’m getting ready for work this morning, it’s occurring to me that my family is going through another one of those transition periods during the holidays. The Old Man is gone, Mother is in assisted living. Guillaume is drifting at best, mostly doing things with his in-laws and his own immediate family.
At this point, it’s really up to Phred and I to maintain whatever holiday traditions our immediate—and now our extended families—celebrate.
The Batman Family Complex
Something I’ve been meaning to write about lately is some stark realizations I’ve been coming to about the very meaning of family. Let’s face it, I haven’t had a traditional nuclear family of my own for over 10 years. My nuclear family, meaning the one for which I am the patriarch, ended with my divorce. For a while, I thought I would have another chance of establishing my own family with X2. Obviously, that never came to pass either.
So today I find myself feeling a little bit like Batman and his “Batman family.” For those who are not familiar with Batman comics, the “Batman family” refers to the surrogate family that Batman has adopted into his orbit in the comics over the decades. As of current continuity, there have been four young men who have held the mantle of Robin, his sidekick. There are currently three women who have held the title of Batgirl. There are other ancillary characters like Signal and the Huntress. Then, of course, there’s the perpetual on-again, off-again relationship between Batman and Catwoman.
There was a 1984 made-for-TV holiday movie called It Came Upon A Midnight Clear. It’s a story about a little boy, Robbie (Scott Grimes), and the special bond he shared with his grandfather, Willie (Mickey Rooney). Willie returns to life just long enough to spend the Christmas holiday with his grandson one more time. Shortly before Mikey passes, there is an exchange between he and his grandson:
ROBBIE: Christmas is what you make it.
MIKEY: LIFE is what you make it.
My point here is that family really is what you make it. I, of course, have Kid 1 and Kid 2. They’re my sons. Nothing will ever come between the three of us. I wonder sometimes about my situation with Veronica and Spicoli, via proxy. I don’t really know what the future holds, but if they are one day to be a part of the Rob Family, they are welcome.
So my holiday celebrations this year will be with the people I love. I may not have them all together at the same time, but I am going to spend time with all of them at one point or another.
In the meantime, there are plans to be made. I still have to think about this Christmas before I start looking ahead.
Thanks for stopping by Rebuilding Rob. Be sure to like, 👍 comment and subscribe to my blog below. It’s greatly appreciated! Also, feel free to follow me on social media as well! Check out my most recent posts as well as some earlier, related (and perhaps, not-so-related) posts:
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The article “My Own “Batman Family”: Navigating the Transition of Holiday Traditions” first appeared on Rebuilding Rob.
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